My Previous Selves

My Previous Selves

Previous Self 1

Stands stoically in her cot
And screams all night for no apparent reason.
  While perplexed adults look on;
Wondering if a pillow isn’t the kindest solution.

When out of her cot she crawls determinedly in a hurry’
To get somewhere.
  I don’t remember where.

Previous Self 2

Sits quietly in a corner
And amuses herself with building bricks.
  If she’d known about Meccanno I’m sure she’d have preferred it;
But brother came too late.

Previous Self 3

Wanders around the tough junior school on the council estate,
And recites poetry to herself
  Blissfully unaware of the effect this has on those around her.
Obsessed with a flat stomach to such an extent
      That today it would be viewed as an eating disorder.

Previous Self 4

Loves nothing better than paddling in the floods,
Experiencing the divine feeling
  Of wet grass and mud between the toes
Or collecting blackberries
Coming home with skirts blackened with juice.

By the way 3 of these 4 previous selves have trouble with their hair. Bits of which are always sticking up the wrong way, most particularly the fringe, which will not be tamed despite the use of grips, soap and sellotape.

Previous Self 5

No longer worries about curls.
She likes pop festivals and bad company
  and wonders why the teachers at her rather staid grammar school
Refuse to acknowledge her individuality.

Previous Self 6

Determined that dreams should become reality,
Throws caution to the wind and heads off hitching around Europe.
  Quite convinced the world is her oyster.
  She still likes bad company but no longer worries about the teachers.

Previous Self 7

Tries to settle down and become a nurse,
But is frustrated by discipline and ill fitting uniforms.
  Forever in trouble where matrons replace teachers in their chorus of disapproval
  And life consists of bums, sick and the fear of cardiac arrest.
  With occasionally bit of fun and appreciation.
But not enough.

Previous Self 8

Flits from job to job launching herself energetically into each enterprise,
Becoming an expert on a variety of things in the process
      Including coffee and the psychology of old ladies.

Previous Self 9

Gets a taste for education and studies with the OU whilst delivering letters,
Composing assignments through all weathers
                      walking up and down paths
  With her head full of poets and philosophers.

Previous Self 10

Takes up study full time and enjoys the luxury
Of books tucked under the arm
  And abstract discussions about the great, the genius and the just plain weird.
    She still composes assignments at work
This time at a local hotel.
  The smell of clean sheets forever connected with Coleridge.

The previous selves continue but they fundamentally change and become more like the present self. So perhaps that’s another story.