Free the Tribbles

The tribbles, the tribbles,
oh, the poor, sweet, little tribbles
are still in trouble, trailing rivers of tears;
Cute, little cuddly furry-faced thingies
that give you hugs, that give you nibbles
being sold on the black market as commodities…

It's evil, it's outrageous, it is. It is!
Tribbles have rights!
Tribbles have feelings,

tribbles need equality and dignity!
We must fight

to set them free-

block all the traffic, lay in the street,

stop the big tankers from sailing the seas...

I argue my case before you, judge:
With a little freedom, see the good they have done-
they’ve destroyed our enemy Klingon homeworld,
ate all their supplies, gummed up their works,
squealed at the aggressive, big stupid jerks;
why, they’ve even caught a Klingon spy!

Free all the tribbles today, says I.

Long life the tribbles!
May they live free or die!

Free them from government conspiracies and lies
run by evil tyrants in disguise;
set the poor, little furry fuzz-buttons free...
Free, I say. Free!
Free, free, free!

So they reproduce at a phenomenal rate,
what’s a tribble here, and a tribble there?
We must be kind to the fuzzbally, button-nosed creatures,
for what if it was you, and it was not they
being sold into a life of slipper-slavery?

I implore you all, all hearts out there,
this world is ours, and in our care,
yet we cannot be lords over everything here-
own it, sell it, trade it, enslave it,
it’s a matter of morals and ethics, for we
cannot do what we want with all that we see,
why, I own a tribble!
(or does the tribble own me?)

No matter! Write to your Congressman.
Call your PTA.
This policy must change
or we will all pay
with doom, doom, gloom…

gloom, gloom, doom...
so down with those who have the nerve to maintain
the population of poor, innocent tribbles;
why, see here, how cute they slobber and dribble?

Look, you can pet them; see, they don't sting!

Now how can you not feel for such furry playthings?

 

 

 

Tribbles (born pregnant)