love letter

dear [sign name - singer]
it was only an hour ago
or perhaps an hour and a quarter
that i received a divine mandate from a dove promise
to send a love letter this week

though it pains me to say this
as i contemplated reconciling myself to this phrase
i realized that there was no one else i wanted to speak to
but you
and i think you would understand that
if only i had the heart to tell you

the promise did not specify the mode of my sending
nor did it specify that the love letter make it to the object of affection
so here i sit
at the computer
contemplating myriad number of rhymes and thoughts
all stemming from you
[sign name - singer]
and everything that i feel to be good and wonderful

how did i come to like you?
i scarce understand it myself
it seems one day we didn't know each other at all
and then it came the time for me to choose
who would benefit
whose voice would complement my own so well

you were the obvious choice

and maybe its because i respected you as a fellow artist
as a fellow human being
as a fellow musician
and maybe its just because you have
the most beautiful voice
in the world

i say this now not to flatter you but to affirm my reality
of how often i stood
awe struck
enraptured by your voice
and yet
afraid to tell you just how beautiful it was

that was where it started
the recognition that you were created to sing
as i was
and that your creation was beautiful

from there it strengthened
both in the combined testimony of friends
who swore that voices
perfectly matched
were beautiful in harmony
and need not be in cacophony

unfortunately for me there was someone else

we both knew of your beauty
but someone i call friend saw it first
and someone i call friend was more open then i about those feelings
affirming the beauty of your creation
and leaving me to ponder my own decision at silence
for it is through silence that one accomplishes little more
than self preservation

but still i tried to know you
//parlez-vous français?//
\\oui, un petit peu...\\
//est-ce que vous voudriez allez en sénégal?//
\\des temps en temps, je pense...j'ai peur.\\
//alors, moi aussi.  c'est incroyable, n'est pas?//
\\oui...incroyable.\\

but somewhere in the midst of all of that
i still found myself in fear of you
perhaps it is because i feel that you are something worth waiting for
perhaps it is because i feel that i am nothing worth waiting for
perhaps it is the recognition that the thing i fear the most
is the thing that i can't stop thinking about

from the time you smile at me
to the time you stop to explain something only once
and your eyes meet mine for just a second

that is when i cannot disengage that
[22 is for senegal and my wish to find you there]

perhaps there is more to this love letter
than a simple acknowledgment of the fact that i may
indeed
have feelings for you
perhaps it is an affirmation that you
are worth finding
and perhaps i may indeed find you there

until then
alas
this love letter will remain as it should be
silent and secret
away from prying sienna eyes
away from the vulnerability of my truth
so for now
at least
this is where i shall stay

with all the love i may one day possess for you,
[sign name - dolphin]