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Nightmare



When the lights go out and all is dark,
you only hear the beating of your heart.
Under the covers, you might well hide
but that will not save you on this night...

For in the shadows, watching and waiting
your imagination is now contemplating.
Those stories you've watched on the news,
are now beginning to take hold of you...

Tiptoeing through the cracks of your mind
you're now the victim of dreamworlds time.
Now slowly rewinding, click, click, blinding,
consumed by the visions you're confined in...

Your eyes start to flicker, flick, flick, flick,

the doorway of nightmares begins to unzip.

You turn and you flip inside fantasies grip

a room of blades now hungers for slaves...

 

One slice then two, then more slices for you 

now hell is unleashed on you he now feasts.

In darkness you shudder under your covers 

you awake with a bang, inside krueger land...

 

He laughs and he jests, slicing your breasts

the pain is for real, he's now wanting to kill.

You run and scream inside your own dreams

but there's no escape, you will never awake... 

 

 


 

 

Author notes

dream

Author Timespell...OPTION 8::_Nightmares.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • Zeprina-Jaz
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. I like the rythm. I loved how you followed the logic of dreams - taking what we watch and making it scary - and I loved the cutting the breasts... Reminded me of 'Broken Glass' by Arthur Miller... Thank you for entering.


  • Florida Sunshine
    October 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ha ... I was definately getting the feeling of 'Freddy Krugger' about midway .... I love the way you've personalize this... Your opening is powerful and got my heart pounding right from the start...

    I enjoyed reading your piece, thanks for entering the contest ~

    Best of luck to you,
    Florida Sunshine


  • SchizoChic
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A job well done, poet. I love the way this plays out. You did a fine job indeed. Best of luck to you in this contest.

  • SchizoChic
    October 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A job well done, poet. I love the way this plays out. You did a fine job indeed. Best of luck to you in this contest.


  • darlintlc silver member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for giving me the chance to read this...it's truely a great Freddy dream!

    "Your eyes start to flicker,flick,flick,flick,
    the doorway of nightmares begins to unzip."
    "You turn and you flip inside fantasies grip
    a room of blades now hungers for slaves..."

    Loved these lines!

    Congrats on the tropies and if I decide to include PW I let you know...maybe get gold this time!

    darlintlc

  • kistoclou
    September 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Very dark

    Very interesting outlook on dreams. It just didn't invigerate me, or anything. It's just not that original as far as dark poems go. Kinda dreary and well unfinished, it alluded that the person died, but you didn't fully explain that. In fact I would rather them not die, but be lost from reality or something. It was good but could have been better. Imagery was great though keep that up.


    • Timespell
      September 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on this poem of mine. Sorry you didn't grasp the deeper, dark meaning to this piece of writing. I suppose if you were meant to see you would of. "Sometimetimes" if you re-read a piece you've read before you get to understand exactly what the writer / poet, storyteller was portraying with his words. And "sometimestime" you don't...

      IE: I don't remember what part died, let me look again!

      Anyway thanks for reading, and sorry it was'nt your cup of tea "Alice"

      All the best

      ~T.S~


  • VerminVomit
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    breath taking

    its long, but it kept my attention the whole time
    this is definitly going into the finalists list
    you'll probably get silver or gold
    everything about this poem is amazing, i love it

  • know one
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    thanks for entering.


  • CrystalFlower
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting indeed. It had a very nice flow to it. Good luck.


  • my1lovewearsdiapers
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is well written, it had me looking over my own shoulder as I read it. The image it paints is so vivid and real that it sent chills racing up and down my spine.


  • Xmas16
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem. Very creepy and full of emotion. I can literally picture this and feel it as I read. This is a great write.


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent rhyme and flow. Great imagery.


  • nichtmich silver member
    June 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting slant and random rhyme pattern. Some movies I just can't watch late at night, you have penned an awesome reason why. Kudos!


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Good..

    I liked this alot you made me jump out of my seat. This was very describing and so very well written. thanks for entering my contest. i wish you the best of luck.
    ..<3..
    Shelly


  • BlackSwan
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this line:

    "Tiptoeing through the cracks of your mind"

    Really outstanding piece depicting a nightmare, I must say you did a very accurate job. I loved the metaphors and vocabulary. Well done!

    -GL in contest


  • SilverWolf
    June 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow!!!!!! good luck in the contest!!!!!! woo!! that is great!!!! its like it is written write out of a book!!! litterly!!! lol. very good historic veiw about the impact of words. and i love the title. this is very tru tho!! words do have a big impact!! great flow and geat poem!! good luck in the contest!! and there is no need to rephrase or anything! its great!


  • Luckintheshadows
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooooh...oh my, truly blood curdling...makes me go cold! A fantastically creative write, thanks for sharing this,

    Luck.

  • Fitz1901
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Man its like a horror movie all wrapped up in a poem, one of the neatest things Ive read on here, you really had my heart pumping at one point.

    Fantastic Job....Thanks for entering


  • de-ja-vu
    June 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this fantastic i really love it


  • xxhoopstar21xx
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW THIS IS GREAT

    wow this is great!!!! i love it!!!
    adding to finalist list
    u have soo much expression and u can feel the fear
    i luv this!! i looove how u ryhme!!


  • LeilaJayne
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on making it into the finalists list, this means i read on further than the first four lines of your poem. Thanks for entering =] xx

  • VerminVomit
    April 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    pretty damn awesome

    *adds to finalist list*
    i really like how you repeated some words like flick flick flick
    i like the 4th stanza the most
    overall, pretty damn awesome


  • Swintha
    April 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, I like this. It's kinda a common type of poem but you did yours really well, you made me want to read it, and read it I did. I feel you could make it an abstract poem, like 'krueger land' for a title. But this poem was very well done and I congratulate you for that.

    -Good luck, Swintha


  • Timespell
    March 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • urapns66
    March 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    well done

    i definitely liked it but krueger land lol its all good definitely a good write


  • LadyDementia gold member
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow deeply dark. I was going to say the 3rd verse was my fave, but each one after that I love as much. The rhyme and flow are flawless. A superbly penned poem. All the best in the contest


  • bones7
    March 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this but i agree with ryano 100 percent.
    Great job tho.


  • RyanosaurusWrecks
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so many poems refuse to push me past the point of thinking for myself, and i encourage you, as a fellow writer, to avoid cliched phrases and words to make your poems stand out for what they should be...words like dark, night, shadows, ect.....all of these can be found in every other entry in most dark poems on this site, however, having read your works, i know that a simple reference into a thesaurus might gain you the stature that your imagination is capapble of...howeever, i did enjoy this, and i wish you luck in this contest


  • completely mad
    March 14, 2008
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    yay ... freddy was always my childhood crush no lie...lol...excellent job here...good luck


  • xPink-Lotusx
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    This is insanely captivating! Very well done. I love it. Almost speechless.. Wow, just wow, and bravo! It would be a sin not to applaud you.

1 - 31 of 31