You live with choices you make day by day
but are they ones, you’re proud belong to you?
When you’ve chosen next to whom you lay
is he the one your dreams cried for so blue?
This gift given can not be returned.
A soul stained will be bruised for life to death.
Is this it? Is this what your heart yearned?
Is he who you love? Does he take away your breath?
This is my soul. Shattered and dark now,
a choice made hastily with a mind confused.
Given in to despair and the wolf’s howl
an ivory passion which has been defused.
Letting trouble rule with fierce tyranny
forgetting everything which I once fought to hold.
Lost sight. It took a friend to make me see
I let go, I turned away warmth for cold.
Reminding me of when I fall I die
and each time it’s harder to rise from the dead.
Every time that I get caught in a lie
it blurs everything that had laid straight ahead.
I read over words I wrote in the past
and cry for a belief broken by me again.
Realizing for me things don’t last
This mistake is the worst truth I’ve wrote in pen.
Author notes
Yay for me right??? I mean here I go again. Ever since I can remember I've been making mistakes, and they seem to get progressively worse as I get older. I wonder what I'll screw up when I'm 30. One more regret to add, and one more bad choice to hold onto. Now I remember why I hate looking at myself in the mirror.
Comments
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"it blurs everything that had laid straight ahead."
^ maybe this would sound better like, "It blurs everything once straight in my head?"
Good reflection. I like the thought of the last stanza. Sometimes I read over old things I've written and can't believe I ever wrote such things or even when someone tells me about something I did years ago - it doesn't sound like me at all. Every body makes mistakes though. We make them every day in things we do and things we don't do. The fact that you hate yourself for the things you do wrong is far better than most people.
Technically, I think you could rework some rhymes to make them sound less force. The rhyme with "blue" in the first stanza is a little weak. But I understand that this is one of the poems that just needed to come out, not to be a masterpiece. But you can always go back and revise once it's a little further from you.
I like to do that sometimes.
I lked this phrase, "for life to death" and the way you used it and the questions you asked in the beginning. Basically, so is this what you really wanted? You know, this just might reach some readers too!
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Line 2 confuses me. maybe needing a comma between "Ones" and "You're" Other than that. WOW! I havent felt like this in a long time. A wonderful piece. You have written like I felt when I was younger. Once again, Kudos!
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