on a great white oliphant,
he was blinded by the stars dug in his eyes
his wrists were bound in strips
torn from nations beneath his steed's
cumbersome steps.
He viewed the way ahead
and said he saw grave stones.
On this the eagle acts,
fluffing its nest to ease the pain
of death.
He never looked down,
to see the sons of savages rape
the daughters of sovereignty.
Never saw their blood mingle with dirt,
or of dirt, the stars would whisper.
And so the nobles drown,
pushed down by the great white oliphant
resting so precisely on their shoulders,
into dark and heavy mud
of its riders nonchalant and grand construction.
The powerless wind watches,
visitor from over heartless seas,
as in the footprints of an oliphant
a nation flounders. A horror
the wind declares! The eagle gives no sign.
How fitting the stars whisper.
How inevitable the man observes.
How cruel the winds echoes.
How salvageable the princess cries,
while the eagle fluffs her grave.
Author notes
So I just had the coolest lecture of american indigenous rights, for those who don't know Oliphant is the case that took away the native courts power to enforce criminal law (which was later cited to take away their power to enforce civil law) against non-natives. This has lead to a massive increase in interacial rape on native land, and also other horrible things and lack of soveignty of what was land guarenteed to their soveignty.
Declares is a reference to the declaration of the rights of indigenous peoples (which US hasn't signed, but neither has NZ, asshole government!), help me make the reference stronger?
It feels unfinished, but I'll work on it some more.
A contest entry
- anything [quality] by vertigo beat.
1750 points, ended March 23, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Improvements?
Comments
-
nice
'The powerless wind watches,
visitor from over heartless seas,
as in the footprints of an oliphant
a nation flounders. A horror
the wind declares! The eagle gives no sign.
How fitting the stars whisper.
How inevitable the man observes.
How cruel the winds echoes.
How salvageable the princess cries,
while the eagle fluffs her grave.' of course, the bleeding conquerors did pretty much the same all over the world and see the state of the world today! Anarchy brewing! nice poem! -
Oh, I can't wait until you write more...this is the makings of an epic, with allusions to history to boot! It needs more, this could really be a learning tool!
I loved the line,
"to see the sons of savages rape
the daughters of soveignty."
It told so much, in so few words, really made you think.
Good job!
~Hippie




