.
I thought, one day, that I could fly
But each time it seemed I could get somewhere
Back I fell.
Despite the wind in my hair,
Chains held me there.
.
Author notes
Inspired by swing image (By Guacamole Goalie on Flickr)
In a list
A contest entry
- If you were me you'd shoot yourself too! (quickie) by luna-midnight.
300 points, ended March 22, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Poem Frenzy! by ShadowsMidnightRose.
1050 points, ended April 16, 2008, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *~*~* little contest, little points, I'm a little bored *~*~* by Melissa Burns.
300 points, ended April 30, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - personal favorite by Virgoan.
2000 points, ended June 9, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hit me down!!! by BleedingBlackTears.
460 points, ended October 29, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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another lesson....
from the playground
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Wow congratulations on silver trophy. I hate taking a step forward and then taking 2 steps backward. You don't get there from here that way.
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I like the idea, but it could be stronger.
Not feeling it.
~prewrites, come and get them -
short and perfectly constructed.
love the brevity of this piece.
Keep sharing your gift.
HENSLEY
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LOVE IT! I can not tell you how thrilled I was with these five lines! Wonderfully well done, I lvoe how you didn't reinforce what you were talking about and assumed the reader had two cents to rub together, it irratates me when people have this wonderful poem, we know what their talking about - yet they keep shoving the concept down our throat 'did you get it? did you get it?!' *sigh* Anyways, I've written a longer comment than the poem itself! Thanks for entering!
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thanks
Really glad you enjoyed
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A study in true life
I really love it. Usually there are three downs for every up. Great write.
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Lovely imagery in the last 2 lines...Congrats on the silver...
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Ah, in its own way, it has that feel of modern myth...chained to who we are, or were...a modern tragedy.
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I also thought of flying when I saw the picture. I like the last two lines very much.
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very intresting, i like the ending because you used contrast. great write, lovely take on the prompt and good luck in the contest!
take care
stephanie =)
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