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The Place of Dreams

Missing image

Beneath a sky of di’mond blue, midst cool and biting winds,

An era ended yesterday, a new one now begins,

And with the simple silver coin she clutches tightly still,

A wish forms simply in her mind, caught up in March’s chill.

What can it be this lass might wish, now that she’s twenty one,

Frivolity and partying, hilarity and fun?

Or is it more that she desires, for years that loom ahead,

To make a difference in life, to make things count instead?

Is this a terrified young maid who stands here at the well?

Are there fears that rule her life this simple coin may quell?

Her gaze now drifts away far off, to times as yet unseen,

Fulfillment for her later years, but what lies in between?

She’s faced her life courageously, and now she’s standing here.
Will history repeat itself, will old times interfere?

Will dreams long dreamed in days gone by be future’s dreaming too,

For frightened Vron, who’s now grown up, who’s trading old for new?

Her fears and insecurities are held within the coin,

Imagination swells within, while trying to conjoin

Everywhere her life has been with where she wants to go,

While hoping all the changes mesh, and don’t become her foe.

A very simple shiny coin that’s held in trembling hand,

As here beside the wishing well she tries to understand.

Then with a sigh and heartfelt wish, the coin is falling free,

Our quiet lady smiles at last, and knows what she will be.

She’ll be the best that she knows how, no matter what her choice,

If horses with the handicapped, the world will hear her voice.

If writing is the choice she makes, then everyone will see,

She’ll leave her mark in written word, with creativity.

She listens caref’lly for the sound, for when it strikes her ears,

The future opens with its voice and speaks to all her fears.

 

Author notes

My AP granddaughter, Vron (Veronica Leigh) has a way of posting photos that just need to be written about. This one is no exception. and since it came at her 21st birthday, it had special meaning as well.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Veronica Leigh
    December 12, 2008
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  • Broken-Bones
    September 13, 2008

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    I loved the rhyme, it was really well done and it has been quite a while since I have found a rhyming piece that was so clear but seemed almost effortlessly done (even though I know the hard work that goes in to such great rhymes). Your flow and structure was also brilliant as well as your words. The message behind the piece was really sweet and I could really relate to the feelings that you put in, the fear and expectations of the future are things which I know pretty well at the moment. You took the image brilliantly to create a wonderful poem, Great work x


  • stylization
    September 10, 2008
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    Oh, nice. I like the rhyme; it flowed well. Great job!

  • luvdrkchocolate
    September 9, 2008
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    Oh. This is a nice little poem that you have going here. I thought the picture seemed thoughtful and I could see how it fit how you were feeling and who you were writing about. I think that's like the mark of the beginning of adulthood when you start thinking about those kinds of things. You did a good job of expressing yourself here.


  • Re-invention silver member
    September 8, 2008

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    wow this is nicely penned.. you didn't only made an excellent rhyming scheme but you got INTO the picture which is exactly what should be done. You also used your imagination and thought and gave it your view.. very well done hun!


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    September 8, 2008

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    You, my friend, are definitely a master of crafting words, and as they are read, visions appear, making the reader feel and see, just what your poetry reflects...


  • PerfectImperfection
    September 7, 2008

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    That is a great image indeed to have drawn inspiration from. Very well penned piece to convey the possibility of thought coursing within. Great rhyme and flow throughout. Although the two words yielding sound/emphasis of pronunciation feel a bit unnecessary with the sophistication of the rest. The piece as a whole is very powerful and poignant in presence. Well penned!


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    September 6, 2008

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    Beautiful. I loved the flow and the imagery. The rhymes were actually really good. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • PerfectTonight
    September 6, 2008

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    So beautiful. A wonderful narrative tied together by a ribbon of poetic touch, flowing throughout the piece.

    I loved-
    "A very simple shiny coin that’s held in trembling hand,

    As here beside the wishing well she tries to understand."

    Thanks for sharing!!


  • wolfman7
    September 6, 2008

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    I enjoyed to descriptive detail of this poem and it has such great imagery. I haven't always been a fan of rhyming, however you have pulled it off quite gracefully, so great job on that. keep up the good work.


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    September 6, 2008
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    such a terrific poem
    it is a delight to read


  • catz Moderators member
    April 23, 2008

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    A lovely poem you two have penned here. There's so much thought and wistfulness in this, yet it speaks of reality, self worth and fulfillment.
    A superb write, you write well together

    Dee


  • lindaburns gold member
    April 9, 2008

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    Your rhyme, flow and logic were perfect in this one. I understand it all except “If horses with the handicapped, the world will hear her voice.” Good work and brilliant read.


  • RedAquarius
    March 20, 2008

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    Loved the opening quatrain, the whole poem flows so well. I think the strength evoked here is a lovely decision, to be the best one can be in any path one chooses. Excellent penning.


  • BAMFNx3
    March 20, 2008

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    The last stanza was deffinatley my favorite.

    "She listens caref’lly for the sound, for when it strikes her ears,
    The future opens with its voice and speaks to all her fears."

    The whole poem was good though. Excellent job.


  • Gods Lil Warrior
    March 20, 2008
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    This is a great poem.
    How did you come up with this?


  • lyrical-rebel
    March 20, 2008

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    Wonderful write...!! effortlessly written or so it seems... for im sure a lot of thought went into writin such a lovely poem...!
    you have definitely done justice to the picture..!
    Good job,
    hope to read more of your work..
    LR!


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    March 14, 2008

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    you penned a beautiful well thought out poem for your friend, she loved as I read her response, yep I peaked lol most important that she adores you for you, thank you for sharing this with us...
    Moons


  • Ishtar
    March 13, 2008

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    "It's so weird how you always know how I'm feeling"


    Fabulous write, Mister. SO neat and organised and well thought out.
    As usual, of course. We all know how you love rubbing your perfect form poetry in our very non-form-ish face.

    And Miss. Veronica speaks truth. You have a gift. You're magic!

  • Veronica Leigh
    March 13, 2008
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    and when I say "our hearts were together in this one" I pretty much mean that you with your incredible sense of something reached inside of me and pulled out emotions that I was hardly aware of, but that hang over me everyday.

    Have I told you lately that you're amazing?


    • kirbysman Moderators member
      April 17, 2008
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      I read this and read it again and then read it one more time. Then I read it again. *sigh*

  • Veronica Leigh
    March 13, 2008

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    It's so weird how you always know how I'm feeling. You couldn't have put it all into words any better than that. I love all the poems that you've written for me, but this one really just feels like our hearts were together in this one. As gay as that does sound... haha but I think you know what I mean.

    I love this. It's just beautiful and it's perfect. You are amazing as always and I love you!

    and love

    Vron

1 - 23 of 23