You are like
voices in my head, who say
whispers in the wall
are dead;
singing “don’t trust
the portraits of society
hung on rusted nails
we stole from church.”
But now I’m outside.
And the wind has a smell
like schizophrenic cigarettes,
blown after mental intercourse.
I want to let my thoughts
ride it along like the dawn, who’s
colour-by-number is disobeyed;
but out here, there’s no mutters
to steal my mind
and hide under bed sheets.
Just emotionless air.
Author notes
Ryno
A contest entry
- 4 of 13 Challenges [INVITE ONLY] by Naridill.
700 points, ended March 16, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLDS THREE by Swan song.
2000 points, ended October 5, 2008, 47 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Well done!
And the wind has a smell
like schizophrenic cigarettes,
blown after mental intercourse.
I think these lines were excellent
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I can spot to similes but can't find the third - can you point out the three, without editing.
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one.
You are like
voices in my head, who say
whispers in the wall
are dead;
too.
And the wind has a smell
like schizophrenic cigarettes,
blown after mental intercourse
tree.
I want to let my thoughts
ride it along like the dawn, who’s
colour-by-number is disobeyed;
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See --- I am a blonde 
Or perhaps the peroxide to cover up the blonde.
Love this piece - the imagery and phrasing was stunning. I adorned the unique graphics that it released in my head.
Thanks for entering,
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no worries. I have "blonde moments" too. glad you liked it
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And the wind has a smell
like schizophrenic cigarettes,
blown after mental intercourse.
roflmao god grief Lil Bro you are scaring me because you're growing up too fast with your writing Lmao. you are starting to write as if you are a 30 year poet who has been writing poetry since they were a baby. any ways this is just a brilliantly penned well done poem and love your stanza's and how well broken down they are. any ways this is just an ingeniusly done poem. I just admire youre intriguing sense of poetic style and creativity. anyw ays keep up the good work
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I wish I was writing poetry that long Thanks for the kind words
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wow. This poem always reminds you to listen to the voices in your brain.
I do, but they're not alwyas right.
Loved the poem, just wonderful!
~Cassie
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Aye - really good. The "mental intercourse" and the coloring book metaphor. Really brilliant. Now gimme your brain!
Never ♥
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Never!
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Already have it
[you gave it to me]
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