Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Broken & Battered



Her eyes danced dramatically,

as her body lay bruised and broken

like many times before.

Her once hazel eyes now harassed

to a tune of humiliation and hatred;

the fear upon her trembling lips

that only moved to betray the winds -

Momentary relapse, his cold gaze

grinning above her, taunting her tears -

the laughter laments her helplessness,

as she still hears his sadistic jeers.

She rolls over, a tear trickles tenderly

down her fractured face -

she slowly and shakily stands,

knowing no other option is left.

Author notes

I can't write these days, sorry guys.
I did try.

About someone being abused and hurt, nobody being there for them and just living to be hurt again. Very emotive.

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • BrittlesSkittles
    January 3

    Edit | Reply
    this was an impactful write. my favorite is the last stanza. the imagery is vivid and the rhyme scheme perfectly flows. great write!


  • Ryno
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    Lots of raw emotion in here, not quite indepth, but powerful and relatable. Could really see this sad girl, but could quite feel her.


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Just letting you know Ryan has been sick but will get the survivor results back to everyone soon! Be well!

    -ten-


  • AshleyAesthetic
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this reminds me of myself, when I felt so empty inside and hurt and I was jus cry myself to sleep, cept i never did sleep. so sad, and it hit so close to home.


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    March 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very emotionally charged piece, great flow and with very engaging imagery. Great work. Hugs, Bunny


  • CanadianGirl1
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You did a very good job bringing me into this scene.. Its terribly sad that abuse like this still happens, and really... it shouldnt. No one should be left to stand alone bruised and broken. This is a beautiful write! thank you for your entry


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    March 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You did great job capturing the emotion of both your lady and her aggressor.  Nicely done.


  • Rose Dark Thorn silver member
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This girl sounds like she's giving in and is ready to die. It's heartbreaking for me to think that anyone would do this of feel this way. I hop it's not personal, sweetheart.


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    March 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sad piece. My heart aches for any woman who feels she must submit to such humiliation. We all go through periods when our writing ability takes a vacation. Then, just as swiftly as it left, it returns with a vengenance. Tribe Poeta values your input, so I hope you will feel like writing again very soon. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh this brought tears to my eyes and really made me want to curl up and hide. your words speak so much that so many cn relate to in a form of way. i love you sweetie am always here for you

  • Valkyrie Tear
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow... i really liked that... i have a simmilar story if this is true.. life sucks.... don't it?

1 - 11 of 11