En haut les manteaux noirs et les chapeaux boules –
Ça va, ça marche, ça roule!
Regarde ces types aux visages gris, devant ma fenêtre;
Ils montent, peut-être,
Un escalier de vent, de soleil, ou des rèves.
“Evidemment ils s’élèvent
Chaque jour, tout près de nos bâtiments?”
Non, pas si souvent!
Vive la pomme, les amants aux têtes couvertes,
Et aux bouches ouvertes;
Vive quand-même le chapeau melon. Mais maintenant –
Zut! – les homes volants.
Author notes
The flying men (surrealist poem)
Up go the black coats, the bowlers too –
Jolly good, okay, tickety-boo!
Look at these grey-faced blokes at my window;
They’re climbing – maybe so –
A stairway of breezes, sunshine, or dreams.
“They rise, so it seems,
Daily, right by our flats?”
No, not as often as that.
Long live the apple, the lovers, heads under a shroud,
And open-mouthed.
Moreover, long live the bowler hat. But now
See the flying men – holy cow!
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Picture included after the contest was finished.
Other Magritte pictures referenced:
http://www.imageenvision.com/posters_md/0001-0601-2818-1019.jpg
http://cs.nga.gov.au/IMAGES/LRG/148052.JPG
A contest entry
- Real Picture Inspiration (René Magritte) by Frodofan.
600 points, ended March 15, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - C'est la vie by Chanson belle.
450 points, ended December 30, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - (Trial & Error) en Francais (Pre-Writes allowed) by NothingButShrooms.
650 points, ended March 3, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Français, S'il vous plait? by GraveyardGoddess.
500 points, ended September 27, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Mai Rit Greet
MAgRItte contains MARI we'd greet,
rehearsing praise unending,
hat raise from head, again repeat
lay's troubadours love sending
to maidens fair, both fine and sweet,
from heaven seen descending ...
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I for one really liked this poem,
I like reading things that are not realistic once in a while.
Thank you for entering it.
And god luck in my contest darling.
<3 -
I love Magritte
This is a great take on this painting.
I wish I could read French fluently enough to follow along.
Did the contest call for the entry en francais?
And thanks for the comment on the column, it was fun to write.
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Not the original one, but the other two I entered did, and this got nowhere. I was a bit miffed by the comments of the last setter, as you can see.
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i liked the idea for this poem (the picture was superb, and the whole way this came out, the flow... i liked the rhyme)
at some points the word choice is a tad clumsy, however.
and i was glad you included a translation with it.
just a few points for future reference:
En Haut means Up there--there isn't actually any motion involved.
"ou des rèves" should be "ou de rêves"
and the use of the word 'évidement' doesn't quite fit, it actually means 'evidentally,' or 'obviously.'
other than that...
i really enjoyed this. the whole surrealist aspect... not bad!
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"En haut" etc etc - yes I know. I wasn't translating word-for-word, and my word choice was precisely what I wanted for the surrealist "feel" of the poem. Unfortunately you didn't get it. des rèves - de rêves hmmm, again, depends what one is trying to say.
"Tad clumsy" in my second language? I think not. It's your reading of it, pal. Go teach your granny to suck eggs!
Thanks for commenting anyhow, but I don't think I'll trouble you in future.
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je ne suis pas tres sur de ce que tu voulait dire par ton message dans la poem, mais je trouvais que la poem etait tres bien ecrite, et j'ai vraiment bien aimer.
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Ne pas être sûr - ça c'est un effet du surréalisme! Merci bien pour le commentaire.
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kind of a random subject
but the french is really good
i like the lines "En haut les manteaux noirs et les chapeaux boules –
Ça va, ça marche, ça roule!"
thanks for the entry -
Wow, the poem read in french is wonderful! It has a particular voice to it that really makes me smile.
And the english version stands on its own as well. I'm not really sure what it is, but I absolutely adore this!
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Thank you very much indeed. I'm glad a couple more people commented on this before it dropped off the feature board. I guess a few people clicked and then didn't know what to make of it.
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The French poem has a balance and shapely power that can not be achieved by the translation - tickety-boo?
I hardly have schoolboy French but I can speak the words with a fair accent - the poem sounds superbe! -
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I must admit, that I wrote the translation with my tongue firmly embedded in my cheek - we are, after all, talking surrealism here, and I was half-asleep. Thanks for your comment.
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Vraiment Inspiree
Je suis surpis; j'avais jamais pensee que tu pouvais ecrire aussi bien en Francais; actually, the translation is excellent in English, but it is to my thinking best in French; you have managed to keep the surrealism perfectly, while making the poem somewhat satirical of Stuffed Shirtism and Mundane Plattitudes in a most entertaining way. Bravo! I especially enjoy the distinct feminine flavor of your poetry: find it envigorating... DW
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Merci beaucoup pour vos felicitations.
The translation into English was an afterthought. I don't often write in French, but this Magritte contest gave me an opportunity. I am aware that this makes the poem a little inaccessible to some readers on the site, but never mind.
Thank you for your kind words.
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this is cool, i liked the way you wrote it in french - although i cant speak the language, i love it. congrats on the silver trophy.
:::::::::::: keira
behind.blue.eyes -
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Thanks, Keira. Although I speak reasonable French, this is the first time I have ever sat down, thought in French, and written what came to me as a poem. Then came the hard part - translating it back into English, trying to get it into much the same form, and rhyme too! I had fun.
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Congratulations on your trophy! You clever clogs
Gaylene
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Believe it or not, Gaylene, this is the first time I have ever composed a poem wholly in French. Then I set about trying to translate it back into English, giving it the same "feel" and rhyme scheme. I got a headache, but I got a silver too!
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Though I am mostly french, I can unfortunately not read or speak it!
A random poem, but very relevant to the contest and artist.
Thank you for entering. This was very interesting!
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That is why I provided a translation below.
This seemed to write itself in French which, to me, is la langue surréaliste - the surrealist language.
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Bravo!
Cette poesie est merveilleuse! Ma ligne preferee est:
“Vive la pomme, les amants aux tetes couvertes,
Et aux bouches ouvertes;”
Je ne peux pas ecrire bien en français avec un clavier americain.
Amour,
Amera♥
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Il me fallait bien travailler pour achever ce poème! Ce n'était pas facile, chérie.
(Au sujet du clavier - si tu as Microsoft, il te faut chercher le "character map", ou on peut emprunter des caractères étranges.)
Grands bisous,
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Oui, j'ai Microsoft mais il est difficile. Vous devriez avoir vu ma poesie ecrite dans le Russe.
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Tu parles le Russe? Mais ça c'est formidable!
Xopoшo! -
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Je parle neuf langues et je ne peux pas orthographier dans aucune d'elles.
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Neuf? Lesquelles?
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so wonderful to end rhyme in both languages, enjoyed the francais more melodic than the english, both so well done...wonderful...'skid
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Well that's because I wrote it in French, 'skid. Then I decided to see if I could render it in English, and force it to rhyme. Just about! Thanks, I am glad you liked it.
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