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Thursday's come and go and it's just another week of what if's

 

 

 

you 

were  just a breath-

taking guy took me

rode the rollercoaster

of pulling

petals from a daisy flayed heart

chain/ed me around the garden

of loveliness


 

offered forgiveness

even toned the scents of my mouth

flowers like lilies and frescia

once plumed fancies

like words slaked 

of nothing


 

you wanted

or heard

 

 

should i ever regret


it would be

that i sat on the curbstone

pulling a beautiful flower

apart

whislt eating

the worm

of you





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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • NoIQ gold member
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol -- in a very funny way, our poems in this contest almost could be comments to one another about the same events seen from two different perspectives. Of course, since in that context I enjoy the male perspective, it works out a little better for me from my point of view That, and I think some women would call my view "the pig of you" rather than the "worm," just out of principle.

    Just kidding, of course. I love the introspection, and the sense of ennui flowing from the memory of happier times. That is the essence of self-pity; on the other hand, it underscores that such pain is transcedental. A pity party is, after all, called a "party" because like all others, at some point even the hostess has to call it a night.

    Lovely work, Gill.


    • NurseChilly gold member
      March 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      damn, i've missed your comments. so good to see you back in the chair... thank you so much Monte, your poem did in many ways come and dance with mine..... let's say, the party is over .......

      and what do you think of Ol Blue'eyed Sven then??? - the man done good


  • Heath Thompson
    March 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great title again - I could read a poetry book just of those titles ;o) Love the last stanza - really good


  • Namita
    March 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    its powerful, intense, strong and amazing... your book of days; i'll buy the book if you publish it...

    - namita


  • Wandika gold member
    March 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    a bit of anger here

    reflecting back into a wonderful time when younger but molling over a few regrets. Maybe, Maybe-not...Maybe, Maybe-not...Maybe, Maybe-not...Damn, where is another flower.

    Jim


  • tara wilson gold member
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow - intense...I love this one...

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply

  • silverfish
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wistful patois to this poem. i find the use of lilly, breath taking, curbstone and worms ... things in a garden, and symbols of passing on. love does come and go. further, and this is just because i'm a phish, but all those flowers (petals, daisies and garden of loveliness) juxtaposed to a rollercoaster in the first stanza lead me to believe that's not a very safe carnival ride. i think someone planted them in memory of people who had a heart attack during the corckscrew. just some thoughts. thank you for writing the poem. -the phish formally known as red.


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    how odd they are
    the flowers, calling
    full of who knows otherness
    a scent of something known,
    the promise of another
    it's no wonder
    why

    we stumble lost
    inside them

    withered worn as faded smiles
    as soon as their bloom
    flies,

    no wonder
    and yet I'd bet,
    on the sureness, a given
    come around another time,

    we'll do it all again.



    • NurseChilly gold member
      March 13, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      you write me...... aahhh yes

      and of course, it's the birds,worms and bees thing, isn't it..... and im sure i will..

      lol

      we all seem to...



      • ArtFullyMe gold member
        March 13, 2008
        Edit | Reply


        the birds, the worms, the bees, even the lowly cockroach...
        attraction reaction, you could base a universe on it

        we do, it's in our genes..




  • misselaineous
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    jolly good stuff

    elaine


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    excellent...



  • layla.
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautifully penned. you kick our arses with poetically stunning DESCRIPTIONS... don't i always say that? huh huh huh??? OMG!!! you wouldn't believe it. i gained 10kgs in a month munching chocolate and nothing else... when i was "wallowing in self pity" [yes yes you are laughing now].

    anyway, your ending just blows off the mind and soul... of those who can relate [fiine i don't count you ... ]...


    YOU ARE MY "SHE WOMAN"

    [oh what a suck up i have become after Kate stopped giving me attention... ]

  • Suzanne Dia
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    Uh huh. Exactly.

    A worm ..a nasty slimy little worm.

    But still I'm glad your regrets are few.

    To be honest, mine are as well, just feel like I wasted a lot of time on someone who didn't deserve it.



    party hat for gilly...

1 - 15 of 15