---
for eyelashes to flutter
by common caustic tones-
Like tick tocks
evolving to loud rings,
the dominant arrow
arrives at 6 a.m.
for slipping on
pale designed clothes
created to honor
our Alma Mater-
Though I'm fond of
a maroon tie with
four grey plated lines
or typical logo
with a torch between
pages of a book
on a white shirt;
the other clothing's accessories,
not my style.
for having breakfast
in a groggy start of
groans since morning
was too early-
making a spoon dance
inside a cup of hot cocoa
while listening to
parents having
boring conversations
that never seem
to intrigue me much:
almost making me
enter Slumberland,
just almost.
for riding in the car
as the heater activates
because the morning
was too early and also
too cold (such irony
for the place is a desert)-
Sun glares at the plain
endless curved roads.
Cars piled together
with traffic jams
but why not traffic jellies
as I always wonder
every time.
Ceaseless little voice
from a young sister and
father's wrath twirled around
(very) beautiful words.
for taking steps inside
school corridors-
Entering a class
where couples seem to
be populating and
how teenage love grows
to be overrating.
Chitters and chatters from
others about the inquiry
of homeworks, classworks
and projects here and there.
Also friends greeting in
smiles before first period awakens.
for trying to listen to
teacher's discussions-
Equations and words
combusting on pages.
Ink bolts on these, too but
mostly on fingers.
Notes being passed and
secrets being told in whispers.
Groaning expressions on
typical faces of bored adolescents,
as if I was looking at multiple mirrors
for I am one of them, too.
for recess to start as
students step on
elegant staircases-
Waiting in queues
and hoping meal of the day
is never non-existent.
Hopes end in despairs often
but if Lady Luck was cheery,
hopes turn to happiness.
for all wide eyes to
stare at the clock's appearance-
Countdowns chanted in
everyone's minds:
3, 2, 1 and dismissal commences!
All students pack their bags and
run downstairs,
waiting to spot transportation
from a group of vehicles
in the parking lot.
for coming home and
doing typical actions:
Changing into comfortable
clothes then eating meals
to satisfy hunger.
Procrastination:
a favorite hobby to do
until bedtime is called upon
and new day starts again.
for not having worries
about leaving school since
that would happen months later . . .
---
Author notes
today was the last day of my highschool life
i just thought of writing a simple piece so yeah ^^'
useful comments and helping critiques
are greatly appreciated
In a list
A contest entry
- Contest with options ( prewritten poems allowed)for three days.... enter early by Manoj Sanyal.
375 points, ended July 29, 2008, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #115 When I was a kid, school vacations seemed to last forever. by daviscth.
425 points, ended August 18, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All ages allowed:Memories,write about your strongest memories. by pop123.
525 points, ended September 2, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm Glad to Be Me by myusikah.
450 points, ended October 18, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think will make this poem better
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Perfect poem,thanks for entering.
-
Your words brought back so many feelings for me. You did a wonderful job creating this. Thank you for posting in my contest.
-
nice poem... I enjoyed reading.
Best wishes and good luck,
-
Brilliant.
This is so sincerely written; definitely a style of your own, not like an any old cliche write...x
I must admit that at first I was reluctant to read your poem because of its length, but now I've come to regret that injustifiable feeling.
A truly heartfelt write, you must really miss being in High School where everything's so easy compared to now
-
Thank you for sharing your favorite with me, best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
-
really great overall. there are a couple places where i feel like the wording is a little awkward. for instance, the first stanza (while, after reading it a couple times makes perfect sense) was a little hard to follow at first. maybe instead of "by the arrival" you could say "the dominant arrow arrives at 6 a.m."
--conversations that never seem (not "seems")
i love the line "the morning was too early and also too cold"
also like "father's wrath twirled around (very beautiful words" (it's just a nice, pretty way of writing)
"where couples seem to be populating as how teenage love grows more to be overrated" seems to trip over itself in the wording. i like the sentiment but maybe clean it up a little?
i like the bit about the ink blots
a lot of nice little touches, memories i can tell are from your own experience but aren't they universal? that's what makes this nice. well done
-
-
thank you so much for your honest opinion!
i'll be editing right now ^^
thanks again =]
-
-
Jaw Droppingly excellent! jeez..reminds me so much of my highschool, sigh. Sadness talaga. But katie, remember, its the end to a start of a new beginning, you all will be in the same book but in different pages
I like the style, journalistic and personal. I wouldnt change one thing!
-
-
ahehehe, thankies ^^ yeah, it's sad. today was the last, er, last day of exams
hmm, heard of the new beginning thingy but same book but different pages, hmm, i'll keep that in mind
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
