you didn't want
me to see what
you had become
the scum of
the something
you were at
one time.
you would turn
your back to
me as you
shook down
the drug you
had worked so
hard to afford.
the house was
cold because
you were messed
up and my plants
stopped growing
in the window.
you wrote letters about being okay
because the pain wasn't that bad today.
you bought
me flowers on
a random tuesday
in march and
proudly boasted
that you had
remembered
valentine's day this time.
and they
would die
even before
I could forget
to water them-
such a lively
cemetery there
was in our
back yard.
I would strum the piano
out of tune since
it was really just for
looks and I
had never learned
to play.
probably I would
sell it anyways
to pay for
the disease
that I was married to.
until then I
would contain
my tears as you
said you
loved that song
and begged to
hear it again.
some days you'd
even sit beside
me, the oxygen
machine keeping
beat.
"but you love
me more?" I'd
remember to ask .
you'd
laugh as you
crossed
your heart and
hoped to die
and I would
go without
supper.
Author notes
in loving memory of
Lenard R. Jefferies
The greatest man I ever knew.
khourey
In a list
A contest entry
- Invite only contest by Floorboards.
1000 points, ended March 26, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This is wonderful. It left me speechless! Thanks so much for this piece! Awesome job.
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I can relate to this. Yours poems have this underlying tone of sadness and heartbreak and I can't get enough of it, haha
The ending was great. It wasn't like BAM in your face, but it's something that we have all probably gone through, especially in a situation like this. Just the raw truth of it makes it all the more amazing. The part about Valentine's Day was very tocuhing, too. Amazing job, worthy of a gold I'd say 
Jeanette*~
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I thought this was an excellent piece, your imagery was very strong, and it was really well written,
great ending too,
nothing much to critique really, great write.
Thank you very much for entering my contest and good luck to you,
Floorboards.
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Wow! This is so emotive. Gorgeously heart wrenching. Great write. - NANGALEEMA
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Great wording and just full of great images. Very well done. I especially liked the words,
'probably I would
sell it anyways
to pay for
the disease
that I was married to.'
Well done. good luck in the contest.
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Wow, damn, that was intense. I love how you combine random memories... it's the small things we remember our lives by. This too sounds like it's honest and personal, not just a scene, and I admire that a lot, though I'm really sorry if it is true. This was brilliant and the ending is so very subtle, and yet so powerful... Really, I have no words.
Just two technical suggestions (by now you must know I'm a grammar&spelling freak)
"you would buy
me flowers on
a random tuesday
in march"
I must say that's one of my favorite parts along with the piano part and the ending. However, Here you seem to talk about a certain action done and completed at one certain point in time so I feel you could just say, "you once bought
me flowers on..."
rather than use a frequentative verb, which suggests the action was repeated, like a habit.
Also,
"you
said you
loved that song
and beg me to"
I think "beg" should be "begged".
Really, I simply love this. It just leaves me with a lot of feelings and it's well written, too.
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hey you ARE my editor!
please? oh well you can have friends and are allowed to help them!
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Thanks so much Di. I'll fix those lines right up.
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probably I would
sell it anyways
to pay for
the disease
that I was married to.
wonderful!!! khourey you inspire me immensely. i feel like writing a story.
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If you do write one, let me read it!
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i will !!!
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I have no words for this one. Absolutely great piece.
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really sad. brought tears to my eyes, honestly.
you wrote letters about being okay
because the pain wasn't that bad today.
i can't paste all my favorite lines but that hit me.
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this touched my heart in so many ways. when a loved one has a disease it changes your entire world too. i can relate much of your words to my husband and father. too many excellent phrases to copy and paste
i'm glad i read this
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thank you. It is hard; especially when money is tight and you're doing everything you can just to get by.
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