brain cells! we got ten minutes left and then i got nothin' for you
laugh loud so that people can hear you hear you and realize that you are still there.
YOU ARE STILL THERE you are not dead yet. yet. yet what. yet nothin'. -
thirteen years old and grinding boy noses into the dirt
i got yr mister right here motherfucker
i am here i am female do you see this do you see me for me and not the stubbiness of my fingers or the bloodiness of my knees or the hoarseness of my voice
me for me i am not my laugh i am not my thighs i am confused i am questioning
i am strange as fuck i am yours i am yours aren't i
aren't i?
i am defined by my relationships with other people so that i am his girlfriend her best friend his big sister i have
understood who i am in relation to you and your shadows but i do not understand who i am when i am completely alone is
that even a question anymore? or
is everyone only who they are to everyone else and
is that a good thing or something terrible
and are those two even distinct anymore.
Author notes
I keep returning to eighth grade when I counted how many times I was referred to by a male pronoun and I got up to 56 and then I lost count.
all of the things i am writing lately are just trains of thought/consciousness. i repeat myself a lot in my words and in my brain
i have a terrifying idea of the month of my death.
A contest entry
- - by hilly.
2724 points, ended April 10, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i have read this before. i don't know, i guess i'm not into the whole female empowerment stuff, or any kind of empowerment for that matter. the style is...it's hard to say...at times irritating but for the most part very enjoyable. it's very hurried and quick. i enjoy that but some of the parts where you say the same thing a few times in a row--i just didn't like that very much.
i liked this part
i have
understood who i am in relation to you and your shadows but i do not understand who i am when i am completely alone
a lot of people, myself included, have struggled with that. -
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this isn't actually empowerment stuff.
this is more of a "i do not know who i am" thing inspired by
a girl who decided she could not be friends with me anymore because I am so much more sure of myself than she is.
this is more of a response to that.
empowerment is not my forte since i dislike myself most of the time.
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well it ain't soon.
your thoughts are familiar.
'i am defined by my relationships with other people so that i am his girlfriend her best friend his big sister i have
understood who i am in relation to you and your shadows but i do not understand who i am when i am completely alone is
that even a question anymore? or
is everyone only who they are to everyone else and
is that a good thing or something terrible
and are those two even distinct anymore.'
felt that.
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i really dont know if this is going to sound creepy or anything but; seriously.. you have the most tantalyzing streams of consiousness i've ever read. its like.. i want to just absorb it & take it in. i really try to do that and all i get is ... simple shit like i wonder why the sky is blue shit; and i think you do this better than anyone. keep at it
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I really like this, it brings back memories of my grade 8 too. Grade 8 was i think the second hardest year for me, & every once and a while I sort've drift back into it, sorta wierd.
I really like your power in this, like you have this force you dont know what you are but you are there & people need to see that. You aren't what they think or how you appear, no one can just guess you into their life you are a person. I really like that.
Life force girl, awesome<3.
xo♥
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