Passion
It's within us all
Stirring up our insides
Opening it's jaws
And swallowing us whole
Passion
A slave to the touch
Without question
We bow
And We obey
Passion
It hurts sometimes
More then we can bear
Without it we could know
Some kind of peace
But we would be hollow
Dank empty rooms
shattered souls
and echoed voices
Without passion
We'd be truly dead
A contest entry
- May the best poem win. by cover fire hero.
600 points, ended April 28, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - From the heart... by CarolinaSkillet.
600 points, ended May 10, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything (sort of) by Puking Faerie Dust.
750 points, ended June 7, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best prewritten poems by Blue-Rose Beauty.
1200 points, ended July 16, 2009, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Passion and Pain by Nyx Kerethas.
525 points, ended August 5, 2009, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING by Tawariell.
630 points, ended August 22, 2009, 184 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
I don't know why but this write bothered me a little. Is it passion or lust? We always have a choice not to give into the strong emotions and sometimes it's for the best.
I didn't really enjoy the write but thanks for entering.
Overall grade: 4/1 -
This is deep and has a very true concept to it, but it's a bland and flat. The imagery in the first stanza was good, though a bit overused, but the rest falls into the "telling-instead-of-showing" category. Try imagery, stronger diction, etc. But that's just my opinion
Thank you for entering, and good luck 
Jeanette*~ -
I like this one as well... I can feel the passion reverberating within the concaves of your heart, and true passion so intense is a rare find. Indeed, we as people would be dead without these things we call emotions, because numbness is still feeling. Anyway, well done, and I hope you win something in one of the two contests. Good luck!
Laura x
-
I will have to leave this one up to the other judges as I had already commented and I would not award a trophy to someone that did not follow guide lines and requirements.
So we will let them decide on this one good luck.
-
Good use of words to convey emotion
Nice write, really will take a well-written imagery driven poem to compete with the other finalists at this point although. I'm judging this contest by the u se of the poetic devices listed in the description. -
-
Feel free to enter another poem. Keep in mind I'm judging by alliteration, assonance, imagery, rhyme and form(preferably stanzas)
-
-
you are over by 17 words.
-
-
I'm sorry I didn't even mean to enter this one. I must have accidentally clicked this one...Would it be okay if I enter another one?
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
