The vision that I want to share
Is five foot six with light brown hair
And where she is I would be there
I know that she would take great care
To keep me walking on thin air
It's only in a dream I dare
To think that we would both be bare
Or maybe just her underwear
In secret places that we share
And take the time to both prepare
For life together in our lair
The forecast for our future fair
In all of love's most radiant glare
I will appoint my city mayor
As every vote was cast for Clare
A contest entry
- Care For a Bit of a Challenge? by RatherImaginative.
1575 points, ended March 22, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is an excellent piece, and while it is categorized "love", I like the subtle humor of it (lines 7 and 8). Your meter is consistant and very easy on the ear, and there is no redundancy in the rhyme, as can be often tricky to avoid with monorhyme. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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But check out Mairi's comment below!!!
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I squeeze your hand and say "There there";
I know you see her everywhere
From Aberdeen to Aberdare,
I know you'd make a lovely pair
- a stallion, a chestnut mare -
A lifelong love, not an affair,
Devotion far beyond compare...
My brother, friend so faithful, swear
You will do nothing to impair
This good relationship, so rare
These days, nor of its layers pare
One inch away, but stay four-square
In your determination; stare
at her fine figure - know nowhere
Is there a lady like your Clare.
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THE TALENT OF MARIE
T hough Clare be rare the fair Marie
H as talents far beyond those she
E ach day would flout ! Her poetry
T hat rhymes betimes, shines, shows there be
A ray all say eternity
L ooks on in wonder, envy. We,
E xalted by her company,
N ow praise each phrase as rarity
T hat few do equal 'dans la vie' !
O h Muse ! whose talent flows so free
F or her alone, as all can see,
M ay be unequalled, history
A nd witness bears from sea to sea.
R evelation's golden key
I s 'all mankind's epitome'
E nchanting - so it seems to me !
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Clare with Mairi
Come tell me sir how can the two compare
Let no-one ever match this perfect pair
All that I know is that I fell for Clare
Regardless of her perfect long brown hair
Even though I know she'll never share
Why must there be a contest so unfair
I know the two would never so prepare
They each love me with all my jolly air
Have not a thought that they must rivals snare
Many are the times that I'm aware
About the blessings seen in both their glare
I want you to consider with great care
Run away and hide you should not dare
Indulge in monorhyming with such flare
That's pentameter :-) -
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I MEANT tetrameter, dammit! And yes, THAT's pentameter.
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well I couldn't leave you with an error in prosody now could I?
Of course I thought I better make it a sonnet too...
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Okay... where are we at?
Monorhyme acrostic in iambic tetrameter. Any advance?
(Thank you Jonathan)
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