Up down up down down down
your furious roller coaster
Waiting ashamed and stupid
For someone who can only be depended on
for
Bringing me down every time
With intermittent
Mounts of anticipation
I ll call false hope
Before banging me around
Plunging me so far down
I vomit
Happiness like every ray of sunshine
streaming in my wide open window
is getting off ur roller coaster of abuse .
A contest entry
- Happiness by Lucille.
300 points, ended March 17, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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ok man This had so errors in it and it wasn't even what I asked for so I am going to have to remove this from my contest. I really hope you put in more of an effort next time instead of just entering whatever. It makes it more fun if you try.
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you meant this had so MANY errors in it . .. right ?
pretty sure thats what you were telling me . ya know, back when I wrote this poem ( some months ago ) i felt every word of it having chosen pretty carefully each one I wrote . . . . but i did write it before ever seeing your contest . . you did say prewrites were ok you werent requiring we sit down and write right now a poem for your contest .... i m pretty sure that s what the rules said .. did i get the wrong contest by mistake maybe ? ok well thank you for taking the time you did to write and comment . have a good one . luanne rene
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I like the imagery and how when you read it you feel like you are going up at down great job
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Wow...I hope this is not describing your life. But I know what you mean. Although I was never a victim of physical abuse, I was a victim of verbal abuse for years, which can be just as devistating mentally. I can relate because getting out of that situation was one of the best choices I ever made. Thanks for sharing such a moving piece!
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your very welcome
it is about my experience ... i wrote it instead of saying it to him . its better that way . and i know what you mean about verbal and emotional abuse . destructive and unacceptable .. and experienced by way too many far too often . what a way for a species with superior intelligence to blow it .. i hope the people around you now are good to you . i m planning on the same . lol . thank you for your comment .
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