An open letter of complaint

TO USE.
PRINT,
DELETE WORDS NOT REQUIRED,
THEN POST.



Dear "sir/ madam/ whatever"

I am writing to "complain/ praise /identify with /aknowledge the criticism directed at"

"me /my family /my body odour/ the department of defence"

It seems like "you /they /communist sympathisers /pea brained idiots"

Have taken offence at an "article /poem /piece of gum /personal body smell"

Belonging to "me/ my family/ my body odour /the department of defence/ Whatever"

Subsequently your letter dated "before the first world war/ last month /last week/  commencing I don't give a damn"

Has been handed to "me /my office /my personal manager /my toilet paper collection"

So that "I /my staff /my cat /the garbage man /the window cleaner"

Can "reply /ignore /request retribution /have a good laugh /humiliate"

You as regards to the "comments /drivel /nonsense /communist propaganda"

You have "written /thought /got wrong /lied about"

Unfortunately as you will know by your'e "interlect /crystal ball/ chicken bones/ lack of a brain"

Occupation as a "journalist /hooker /con artist /crap shooter/ foul mouthed bigot"

We at "the department /home for the educationally subnormal /town of don't give a shit"

Are in a" position /area/ state of tranquility"

In that we are "short staffed /very busy /tired /useless /ill informed /belligerent"

So we therefore ask "have a nice day /rot in hell /fall under a bus / have the guts to go fuck youreself /do not trouble us again"

THANKS