words lie strong in memory
breasts lie soft in palms.
in her mind
she holds old poems
against him
like he holds her
hard against his rising erection.
she fingers the letters,
rolls them gently--
pebbles in a stream of consciousness.
she whets consonants sharply
against a tongue
licking hungrily
at the lips of meaning,
acting on the impulse
of the verbs.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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ooooh :)
hey girl - the only thing that irked me a bit was the "stream of consciousness" - it was a bit too cliche for me, but everything else is AWESOME.. great images, maybe some more word play around "erection" - perhaps "pending election" or something like that - i dunno. about the stream, though... Hmmmm..
how about something like, "pebbles on a blanket, smooth but keeping me awake" - again, I dunno... but good stuff in here!!!! Miss ya!
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Hey lady,
Thank you for the comments after my long absence. I've been really sick this semester, so my presence here has suffered. I missed you too! I'm in the middle of finals currently, but I'm hoping to be more active around the site over the summer. How've you been?
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