The heart has its reasons
That reason knows nothing of…
And it has a voice
That speaks with pure love.
From the first moment I held you,
You have been my life’s greatest treasure
And each moment spent together…
Special.
Because our love is a gift from above,
A truly remarkable treasure of joy.
Sweet kisses given from the heart.
Silent hugs show our abiding affection
And the wondrous love,
A two heart connection
To always keep our hearts touching;
Entwined together as one.
A relationship like no other.
One filled with smiles of happiness,
Tears of joy
With hopes and dreams
Lasting a lifetime long.
Each time we meet,
We share the dream.
We have met the one
Who has forever captured our heart,
Speaking with a voice of pure love.
The heart has its reasons
That reason knows nothing of…
And it has a voice…
Yes, a voice of pure love.
Author notes
This is a rewrite of one written about a month ago for another contest. I was told in no uncertain terms that I was no good as a writer! Well, just let say this to my critics out there...
I don't write for you! I write for myself and I write it from the heart! If you don't like it... tough! I write what I feel and I write it the way it comes out. My presentation of it (in the center position) to me has a better look than left aligned.
I am not God's gift to the poetic world! I don't claim to be! If you do, then you are liar! No one is perfect!
If you have a suggestion on how to make the poem better, then say it! Don't beat around the bush. Teach me something I don't know. Show me.
Thank you.
A contest entry
- Celabration! Who wants to win 3000 points? by Mori-lux.
3060 points, ended March 29, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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ill give you a critique if you so desire...it might help if you want suggestions
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I don't really go for the critical critiques. That's just nit-picking to me. But if you have suggestions on how to make the poem better... fine. But do it without coming off sounding like a bully, telling me that it has to be this way or that way because that is just how poetry is written. There is no right or worng way to write your thoughts and feelings.
Go ahead and lay your suggestions on me. I'll either take them or I won't. Thank you.
~Donna~ -
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i will not tell you how to make your poem better, i dont do that, but i can give you a few suggestions as to why poetry on a competitive level, for instance, in contests, need to have certain qualities
for one, poems about love are grand
love is an emotion that brings up nations and destroys empires. so naturally, it is one of the most dominating theme in poetry, as is nature, and light and dark themes.
So amonngst all of the love poems written, some things that I think about are
1.have my words been used before? if so, do they command originality, for instance, i could say 'i love your face'
or i could say ' your visage is within me'
see the resemblance, yet i've avoided "purple prose"
2. is my message getting across clearly without being too common?
again, its just trying out something new...
i will never say anyone sucks at writing, at least not to thier face(a joke) but developtment comes through different rites of passage.
I also hate when people do not like my writings, but i still write in my own style and manner, maybe tweaking it up a bit, not to satisfy THEM, but to improve myself.
So thats it, just keep doing what youre doing, NEVER stop writing, and challenge yourself, but never for the sake of others.
I wish you well
-ryan -
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Ryan,
Thank you. You have made my day with your comment. I shall endevour to take your advice and will work with this write a bit more 'til I feel it is finished and in the future to improve my poetry for me and no one else.
You are my kind of poet.
Hopefully later, I can sit down and read some of your work. Stop writing? NEVER! Once a poet, always a poet and always challenging myself. Thanks again.
~Donna~
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The first stanza was very strong. Nice writing. Kudos and good luck. -Judge#2
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Thank you. I am glad that you liked it. I am very happy with this write now that I have sat down and rework it a bit. Thanks again and good luck to you in helping with the judging.
~Donna~
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It's a nice poem.
I realy like this stanza:
The heart has its reasons
That reason knows nothing of…
And it has a voice
That speaks with pure love.
I connect with it well. and yea critics can be realy heart wrenching at times, especialy in a comunity site cuz there are alot of mean people who think they know everything.. but if I were you I'd just ignore them, this poem is good
good luck and thanks for entering! -
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Thank you. I appreciate this comment. You are welcome for entering.
I have decided that if anyone wants to tear me down, they are going to have a tough time doing it! I am simply sick of them! Like my mama always said, 'If you don't have anything nice to say. Don't say anything at all!'
Thanks again. Good luck with the judging.
~Donna~ -
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That's a good decision to make I think. and thanks for the luck with this contest I'm gonna need it lol. I just enlisted the help of one of my best friends for judging also so perhaps you will hear from her also in the near future.. good luck again
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