A microscopic murderer assaults the world of man.
One hundred million children now have nothing left to plan,
Colossus on a tiny scale has humbled all the best,
Nothing much that we can do to try to save the rest.
The dead and dying parents mean the victims left are young,
Across the blighted nations on young shoulders old heads sprung.
An eight years old patrician has to earn his siblings bread,
The mighty man who sired him is now close to death or dead.
And mothers lie in agony, they cannot feed their brood,
The babes who need their mercy are by tragedy pursued.
Across the world where men seemed strong, they've fought their final fight
And maybe for a hundred years, these nations stand at night.
The way things are and ignorance have brought us to this state,
The Western World and Governments reacted far too late.
In Africa and Asia they will die for many years,
Tradition and intolerance just adding to their fears.
Education is the way that we can end this plague;
A promise we must make the young and we must not renege.
The future of the human race, of woman and of man,
So raise your voice to let them know in every way you can.
A message must be carried forth, it needn't be this way;
A sheath of rubber membrane could have saved the world today.
Whatever else the message that is carried with our trades,
Forget about our differences, and take a stand on AIDS.
Author notes
OK I think it's done now
Prompt was Slayer
A contest entry
- Only for those who've won a Gold or Silver in my contests ... by ecrivain01.
1300 points, ended April 7, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ROUND TWO - DUELING POETS by Dalaney.
500 points, ended March 24, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling all political poetry. (Any type) by nitefire.
300 points, ended April 23, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Political Poetry by fakeport.
600 points, ended May 16, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Brilliant
Good rhyme and meter, powerful words, and an important message. Thanks a lot for entering my contest.
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I wonder what it is homosexuals did in the 50s and 60s that they have not been doing for thousands of years??????? Biological warfare is scary. I think this is great. The form and content great. Some people would rather not talk about these things. I would rather not talk to them.
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Well written and topical too.
Not only that; I like your vest. Cheers. -
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Interesting write ...
and I have written a number saying precisely these same things. The tragedy of being human is that far too often we don't learn from the experiences of others. It's true that the fundamentalist Christians fought tooth and nail to keep anyone from doing anything about AIDS. There was probably no chance of controlling or containing it anyway, but they made it a million times worse.
Anyway, thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
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It truly is a killer taking our world by storm. I have actually yet to meet anyone affected by this disease however I know quite well what the sadness is of losing yourself to soemthing that cannot be cured. This had a very powerful and important message, very strong and well put. Wonderful job. Good luck in the contest.
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I love this... I have never seen this kind of poem put forth quite so elegantly, and so bluntly. It says everything it needs to say, in words to make it easy to swallow. People seem to look away, but maybe this can pull them in. The flow and the rhyme were perfect- neither sounded forced. People need to hear and understand the truth- only then will they take preventative measures. Thank you for sharing this, and best of luck.
~Amy
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This poem reads at a pace to match the speed that HIV seems to spread. It's written in a brilliant manner, the pace feels urgent and of course the message strengthens that. Every word reciprocates the whole, every point is flawlessly carried in the most spirited of ways. This is a tour-de-force of content and writing skill, which is only surpassed by the magnificent intellectual delivery, of the slashingly truthful lament, and sound observation for the path that needs to be followed. Inspirational writing and hugely motivating.
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this is an amazing write, it really makes you open your eyes and think about things that most people would rather leave swept under the carpet so that they can live in blissful ignorance. great write.
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this poem is very well writen, very well done!...i truly and strongly agree with everything writtin in this poem...congrats on the contest!! i wish you the best of luck
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SPOT. BLOODY. ON!
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REALLY GOOD
omg that was really good
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nice! ... a good subject ... good written!
Condoms should be free ... just to stop HIV aids and all the other sexual diseases .... you deserve the full honor...
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So very very true-Education is the key thing - money profits nothing and can get into the wrong hands as we have sadly found out. My, what a profound and believable write here!
Blessings- xx
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AMEN!
Yes, concern, condoms and communication would help. Funneling some of the Big Pharmaceutical profits into care for the surviving dependants of Aids could help the children who ARE old before their time. Thanks for your compassion and a great means of spreading the concern!
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BRAVO!!! Something must be done to stop this tragedy, educate, research whatever it takes to stop this senseless waste of humanity. Sheer brilliance Jeff xx
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You're very right, my friend... This is fantastic, and you're one of the few rhymers who can do it without it sounding forced or awkward. Definitely a sobering reminder to all of us that we are very lucky to live in countries like Canada and the US, amongst others. Very well done, and I wish you the best in your contest.
Laura
PS: I don't give three clappies to just anyone, but you have earned them Well done.
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A very powerful write you have penned here, got to get that message out there, and this is a fine way to do that... WELL DONE
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A powerful poem. Another problem in these underdeveloped nations is the remnants of tribal conflicts and dictatorships and general chaos contributing to the bad conditions and spread of diseases like AIDS. If our troops were not occupied in a senseless war in Iraq, this is where the U.S. could make a real difference in this world, and not be looked upon as imposing our will.
Thanks for this.
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this issue that need to be forefront .... especially now in election year... thank you! thanks for sharing....
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Oh WOW Jeff
This is not a love poem, this is not a funny poem. This is just wonderful, I just want to
Wow
I want to write this sort of poetry
WOW
I love this
WOW
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Your poem speaks many truths. But there is a problem with what you say. My son, the leading infectious disease doctor in this country, has been to Zimbabwe, and the thousands of orphans, left to fend for themselves, and are already infected, live in the poorest areas. They get no education. Condoms are not a sure way to stop the spread. IT is in educating these children. How do you do that? I worked in the woods with him, in a makeshift hospital, 125 degrees, 100 dirty beds full of dying children. No water, and only Peace Corps workers. 4 children were helped by the protease inhibitors, and were able to leave, but had nowhere to go. IN this country, though fewer are being diagnosed, HIV is treated just as diabetes. Fewer die each year, and most live productive lives. If we take a stand, we MUST get our government to release more money to these poverty stricken countries. I have been on the Senate floor, begging along with others, for more aid, only to be told, "we have to fund this war." I like what you have written so far, but it doesn't solve the problem. I pray you do well in this contest. Understanding the ones who are spending our taxes on things we don't like, are the ones who CAN help!
Keep on campaigning. Everyone who takes a stand can make a difference! God Bless.
Shana
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Education is King. Always. Education would have helped mitigate this disaster, but so would condoms! There is never one answer, and I'll look to add more Stanzas to reflect that.
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WOW
This poem is so true it's breath takinking !!!
just amazing.good luck in the contest!!
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Wow! This is really emotional my friend. I think this poem is a turning point in your poetic growth. I'm very impressed with the message and sincerity of this poem. I knew the rhyme and meter would be well done but this poem is world class.
Love,
Amera♥
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Thank-you my usual stuff matters to me and to some of my readers, but I want this to be right.
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Very well penned. AIDs is the scourge of the modern world, unleashed by and unrestrained by science.
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Strong message you share in these lines - so easily prevented, yet so many poor in third world countries know nothing of condoms, or birth control. So m any suffer, die needlessly. Am sure you can write an epic on this topic - what you have written so far is outstanding.
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This was very powerful. I dont even know you and i feel like a personality has reflected off of this. wonderful work.
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Well when you said not fun you meant it.
Well constructed poem of need. The need for education, health and aid against AIDS.
Superb entry.
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Holy cow....This is so not like you...
This indeed is a powerful read. A loud voice you are my dear. Thankss for sharing, let me know when you finish this..This is what I am about, speaking out and helping.
Love
Passions
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From a true master (mistress!) of campaigning poetry that is a great compliment.
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