Haste.
Open it, fast!
But in the moment I faced
I froze, afraid in the last
second, of what would I see
(feel)
once I've looked up...
When finally my blood ran again
I looked through
and there
were you
the face that haunts my dreams
night after night
(and day after day)
the lips I imagine every time
I close my eyes and that smile of yours
that makes me sink in your eyes
(losing)
confusing the way of my thoughts,
(the thoughts of my way)
When you went away
I thought time and distance would do...
Well,
they didn't,
because I've never stopped loving you
Author notes
...do I have to say anything? you already know it's for you,it's always for you
A contest entry
- write about what you love or what your passionate about by Raging Chaos.
450 points, ended March 16, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes. by still.she.waits.
600 points, ended April 1, 2008, 113 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Best, New or Old by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended April 26, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - May the best poem win. by cover fire hero.
600 points, ended April 28, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Twisted Desires 2 by Darkend.
600 points, ended June 18, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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hmmm
I loved the topic and the space rhythem of this write but a lot of grammar things seemed to stop me while i was reading...like freezed (froze) and were you (you were). But otherwise I loved this poem very much. Kind of tragic romantic. -
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yeah, thanks for the froze thing,but the other thing: I think you just didn't catch what I wanted to say in that place.anyway, thank you for your comment ^^
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Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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Wonderful, I loved the way you built the poem (meaning how you spaced it and such). Loved how it was fast paced, it all seemed to happen in a moment when you saw this person after a long time apart.
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thx
thanks ^^ it really happened that way ... I felt it so I sat and wrote and this was what I wrote haha
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great write && good luck
-Raging Chaos -
Amazing!
A very powerful and well executed poem.
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Beautiful poem
Beautiful, Just a great poem to read, I feel the sadness, but i just wrote a poem as well. as only the New Dr Suess could.
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