I see
my silhouette
undistanced to wonder
surrounded by bright grass, it's not freeze...
today
eyelash
up on log, clouds
as door: spider silk white
noise, hair strand blowing needle song;
record
I want
to crawl in that
camper the color of
stared at sky when I'm on logs, move
for law
calf pain,
looking across
area neighbor's farm,
see each other on earth... scope spoke
sun stroke
grandpa's
collapse recalled,
deviate from globe state schedule;
miscarriage cemetery too
matters
top of plant
unsimilar to floater
ultimately
Author notes
good luck is mistaken; Isaiah 65:11
comment with basis for expression,
not unnatural emoticons NOR the applause at all, please
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel Again by californiagirl.
800 points, ended March 13, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
not distracted but drawing close
Comments
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I'll be honest. This did absolutely nothing for me. The idea is interesting, but the expression of emotion wasn't very clear, nor did it come through in an undertone. The poem definitely didn't make me feel anything at all. Thanks for your entry and good luck!
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bad poem might've gotten habit to skip author notes, good luck was uncalled for
californiagirl I'm sorry my migration is unrelatable
I didn't mean to disappoint, but this was raw without crudeness of cutting 'through in an undertone' all the while however there are moments of reading or writing.
my twirl wasn't blunt for sentences maybe,
babies are my subject
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