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'Aaah, nectar!'



Every dark night he
staggers in

wearing the same old mildewed
jerkin

hands thrust deep inside multi-coloured
denim pockets

fumbling for his knees
it seems.

'Pint.'

He grunts with a sniff.

With beer towel slung over the shoulder
and a surly nod

the landlord
starts pumping his tipple into a tankard-

one short
creamy head later

the regular
is supping like a good 'un.

'Aaah, nectar', he exclaims.

'More!'

'Eh, easy tiger.'

Replies the baggy mouthed barman.

'That's my steradent you've just necked.

Your pint is over here.'




Author notes

FLOORBOARDS. Steradent is used for cleaning false teeth, you leave them in a glass of it overnight.

In a list

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • Dryad Enya
    October 16

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice, I like the joke, very funny but i'm glad there was an explenation. Shame you've not won anything with it yet despite it being in so many contests, maybe you'll get lucky soon hey.
    Well done and best of luck
    Dryad Enya

  • davelolione gold member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply

    LOL. very funny

    What an unsual write. I liked it for the laugh but I'm undecided on it as a poem/prose; a most unsual style for me.

    Let me dwell on it for a while it maybe the way i read it.

    Many thanks for entering.

    Dave


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    August 28
    Edit | Reply

    20.96 / 25

    Quite interesting, thank you for sharing!


  • Griswold silver member
    August 22

    Edit | Reply
    Very well done does steradent taste good??? Here's to you my friend!! Thank you for taking the time to enter the "Fight for the Gold" contest, it is appreciated. Best of luck in the judging... Scott


  • letters to no one
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    This did make me laugh, something that is hard for people, and more specifically, poets to achieve.

    This flowed really well.

    Thank you for entering, and sorry for my delayed comment, I had no other time, except today.

    Shelly
    x


  • Unsigned gold member
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    lol....this is really funny and very well written

    Well done

    Good luck


    Simon


  • Denerica
    December 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great funny ending.


  • Shades of Pale silver member
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lol it made me crack up!


  • Maxboy gold member
    August 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very Funny!!! ~ Thanks to the translation.

    Good luck in the contest.


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOL This poem gave me a laugh. It was definitely interesting. LOL I enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Melvina
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm... a very interesting poem. Kinda funny and I liked it. Good luck and thanks for entering my contest!
    ~cheers~


  • LadyUnique silver member
    April 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i liked the picture i got from 'fumbling for his knees it seems'. that's exactly what guys look like when they've got on those baggy, low-riding jeans then put their hands in their pockets looking for change or keys that's precious
    this is clever thanks for entering and good luck


  • Manoj Sanyal
    April 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hahaha!!... funny indeed.
    Best wishes and good luck,


  • Cat10
    April 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering! this is such a cute poem! I really enjoyed it! you did a great job, good luck in this and all of your other contests!


  • broken-colours
    April 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This one made me giggle, was it supposed to do that? Anyway, I love the way you've cleverly strung together your words and told such a silly tale with them. Nicely done. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    April 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Haha, this one is quite funny, I maybe shouldn't find this funny but I did


  • wolfcub
    April 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Pretty interesting, I must admit. The layout adds to the effect of this poem, where it woudl ruin others. Great imagery.
    Thankyou for entering and good luck
    katie


  • cricketjeff gold member
    April 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very funny
    Very enjoyable read, and I love the grunts with a sniff. Lovely imagery and a good joke.


  • only1love4ever
    March 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Only1love4ever-Reply

    Haha that was very creative. I liked it. Very creative in a crazy kind of way. this should bring a smile to anyones face, it is defiently a walk though your imagination and it almost reminds me of that show- Whose line is it anyway? That was funny before that new guy started workign for it...lol..anyways thank you and best of luck.. Very enjoyable!! I needed a laugh!! :]


  • lostangel07
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    haha. Cute. Made me laugh. I can totally see the man and the barman, great imagery. A good write.

  • neel pakhi
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    fantastic. a little colloquial but it manages to stay drunkenly refined. welcome to the number one spot.


  • Ryno
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ohhhh WOW. Well, the first thing I have to say to this, is thank-you for the smile, then chuckle, and then the Laugh I laughed out loud Quite funny once I realized the unseriousness of this.

    The descriptions, as far as imagery goes, are really well done due to the images you etch in our eyes - It doesn't apply to our sense fully, but we still see something strongly.

    Thanks for the entry!


  • Waking Darkness
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was funny. Very descriptive.


  • stylization
    March 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh wowww
    this is good =]


  • Lady Eventide
    March 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, I must commend you on your wit! An excellent write you have here, my friend. Made me laugh. Keep up the good work.


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OH, how gross. Made me want to gag! LOL Certainly cannot imagine anyone doing this, but if one is already under the weather, anything might taste good. Easy to read and understand what you write here.


  • Oraculus
    March 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    BRILLIANT!!!

    This is a great tiny tale to perk us up on an evening where something new is needed: well crafted humor and style; DW


  • Metaphorist
    March 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I didn't get the full effect of this because of the colloquial expressions I haven't heard before in this part of town. But what a great image indeed! haha. Good luck with it.

  • phoenixonfire
    March 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I will give it to you man that u have brains!! U know how to relate variety of things into one excellent piece of work! It is a pleasure to read ur work after such a looooong time! Way to go!!


    pri( remember me?)


  • sheltered
    March 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent color and wit with a li'l o' that bad tastin' shit.


  • aboomer silver member
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    omg....lol
    Great images in this story! I loved it! Your ending cracked me up!
    best wishes in your contest.

1 - 31 of 31