Locked in this city of walls,
the high walls that got balls,
Balls by which kicked to my face,
Slaps me, I react not, still in my place.
Keeping my silence, avoiding the screams;
Got so feverish from my nightmarish dreams;
My life is damned in this city of borders;
Can't fly, can't breathe, can't move any further;
Even Can't break my silence, so numb;
Running out of all choices, so dumb.
All is evil, overtaken by the devil.
they're beasts running, none now is civil;
"Conquer the time, Let it be defeated;
Chase it & run harder, never let it be wasted"
For every once & a while, you get much more:
More life, more people for you to enslave and more
More precious pieces to hang on your wall,
or more walls to build, for another tragic fall.
But my fall won't be so easily achieved;
I won't give up, I was born to lead.
And every now and then is made out for me;
Me alone will fight the silence eventually;
Me alone will show you, So Wait & See...
Author notes
Well, I know the world is not that ugly, but it's getting to be that anyway...
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A contest entry
- GIVE ME SOMETHING TO PONDER by Swan song.
1000 points, ended March 22, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best of anything. No cutting poems please. new or pre write. by Misery into Melody.
700 points, ended May 16, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BACK FOR ANOTHER TRY by Tempa Lee.
600 points, ended May 11, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate Goal by N e a r.
20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The rhyming in parts is a little dodgy and simply, but the strength in this is great. The random capitalisation of some words I think is great in reinforcing the meaning of them, and strengthening them in general. Brilliant ending, I love the persistence that is in this piece. Very well done.
ITNC
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hey this is Dani...the judge of the contest. just to let you know that i do not know who you are...so if you know me please don't be upset if i leave you a comment that does not make you smile. it's just i'm judging this contest and i wanna be able to seek out the good and get rid of the bad. i really do love this. you had a nice flow to it. and the world is getting to be an ugly place and i hope people don't see it too late. but nice job and good luck in the contest.
~Dani~ -
awesome I love the flow in this piece
some of it confused my but I've got really bad comperhention so It's proble just me.lol.Allso I love the way you ended this poem .that was great
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wow this was something A mid full to say the least.
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This piece has a very strong undercurrent of emotion. The thoughts woven within are quite substantial - but vague in certain areas, as to the cause and eventual effect. The ending seems to have much more build of emotion. Good write!
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