Both ships drift upon seas serene
bobbing and floating in peaceful sway,
together exploring ocean's depths
in fascinated wonder curiosity discovered.
Content to skim along in gentle swell
this placid existence shared, a miracle,
yet restlessness of togetherness begins to creak
as sturdy moorings rumble discontent.
With ebb and flow of daily tides,
both ships groan their monotony,
as ocean squall blows across harmony's horizon
calm is displayed before the storm.
No longer moving in equal rhythm
hulls crash together upn opposing waves,
as rip drives each away from familiarity
and thunder roars in fearful beats.
Yet storms pass over and balance returns
no damage done to engine's purr,
built with love and durable
with hands of accord, in symmetry.
Author notes
Prompt - (15 lines plus)
"True friendship is never serene."
- Mariede Svign
In a list
A contest entry
- ♫ ldfd♫ by lie.
300 points, ended March 14, 2008, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Excellent
Nice blend of words and imagery. Taking the reader from the obvious to the hidden meaning in each sentence. Re-Written, this could be a classic! -
I really like this piece - it flows flawlessly, and it shows that you truly are a literary great.
I think you could have been more creative with the quote, but the metaphor was solid and the vocabulary kept me enticed.
I don't think that if there is a definite destruction between friends, that it can ever be completely be repaired; or maybe that's just my cynical nature, and tendency to hold a grudge. But it's been my experience that people grasp onto the bad things that happened in a relationship - any kind, whether friend or lover, and while everything might return to being normal, both parties remember what happened.
The happy ending in the poem is a nice touch, but a little bit unrealistic.
But like I said, the piece itself, in structure, vocabulary, and overall poetic quality is stunning.
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Excellent!
You sure do have a way with words, and placing those words in all the right places. You have such a gift, and I'm glad I get the chance to read you here. Peace to you and yours, and all the best within the contest!
-Timothy
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the vocab in this is strong powerful and stunning. the imagery it brngs fourth is unique and inticing.well done gran
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interesting
interesting write for the prompt . . liked the use of ships together instead . . also liked "together exploring ocean's depths" and "with hand of accord, in symmetry" . . good luck in the contest . .
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