Should've seen signs,
Should've thought first,
Should've known what was next
So I'm broken again
Could've avoided this
Stayed whole another day
But I don't need that
So I'm broken again
Refractured where it hurts most
But...I think...I'm okay
I know how to fix myself now
That's a great feeling.
Author notes
The tone of this was supposed to be kinda flat, not too emotional or anything. Just a little bit hopeful and pained. It's a very nice combination ^-^
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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nice balance between depressing and happy go lucky! I really liked the beggining and then it seemed to loose some quality towards the end. Especially the last line. it just seems kind of flat for such an awesome poem. I have weird opinons sometimes though, so don't go changing the whole poem just because of me. Overall an awesome poem!
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YES!! CRITIQUE!! I LOVE YOU JOHN ADAMS! *ahem* thank you for the comment, I really appreciate your feedback I'll work on the ending a little, I see what you mean.
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Well you did a very good job of what you were attempting!! I liked this poem a lot, because it's not one of your dark and scary poems, but it's not TOO happy and fluffy. I like this type of poem. Good job!
*KT*
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lol. I hope you're able to fix yourself. Rather emotional but still good. Thanks for sharing.
Brian
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