The Beauty of innocence penetrated the darkness,
illuminated the entire night.
Shine of wisdom, love & Sincerity,
Making its presence,
To give us clarity.
Fearlessness, strength & sweetness are the jewels those shine,
Making its way,
To rupture the ruthless pride.
Create a world that make you smile,
Develop a confidence that never dies.
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt - Over Night by poetryality.
875 points, ended March 12, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 100 Short Prewrites by Kari.
450 points, ended March 31, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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" Create a world that make you smile,
Develop a confidence that never dies. "
These lines should be put on posters and hung everywhere. Nice job
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This is very nice. Good luck with it.
Thanks for the comment on clock talk.
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I feel a surge of energy in these words. I would take a look at tense throughout the poem though.
EX:
"The Beauty of innocence penetrated the darkness,
illuminate the entire night".
keeping with the proper tense; "illuminate" should be [illuminated]
Here as well:
"make[s] you smile".
Is [jewels] the correct spelling here "Jeweles". Unless it is a proper name, and a play on words. I'm not sure...
Thank you for this entry and I wish you the best.
Much Love & Light s♥
Renee
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"Fearlessness, strength & sweetness are the Jewelles those shine,
Making its way,"
Very serene and ethereal, well done and good luck in the contest.
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