The sun has gone from my small Earth
Never again to feel hope or mirth
The moon has taken o’er the sky
“Where is my love?” wonders I.
He left long ago in search of his fate
If he returns it shall be too late
For my heart is forgetting the love I once felt
I’m here cursing Fate for the hand I’ve been dealt.
I’m forgetting the feel of my hand on his cheek
The safety I felt in a world so bleak
My hand wrapped in his was a tasty delight
But now the feeling has off and took flight.
The feel of his lips pressed to sweetly to mine
Was once a memory so wholly divine
The way our eyes met and the way that he stared
Was enough to believe we were perfectly paired.
But now since he left I’ve been here on my own
These memories have faded and I feel so alone.
I think he still loves me I believe that is true
But my heart it is forgetting, oh what do I do?
Author notes
Written December 1st, 2003
A contest entry
- Themed Poetry by Chaith.
400 points, ended January 15, 2004, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Good.... damn good.
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Wow this is an AMAZING poem! The rhyming, the flow, the whole thing. This line creates a wonderful image:
The feel of his lips pressed to sweetly to mine
Was once a memory so wholly divine
The way our eyes met and the way that he stared
Was enough to believe we were perfectly paired.
The poem was extremly well written and I'd love to read more like it. Keep up the good work! -
pretty good... i thought the word choice and rhyme took away from the pain a sometimes, but it was still felt. My favorite lines were the last two...
"I think he still loves me I believe that is true
But my heart it is forgetting, oh what do I do?"
Beautiful stuff, i can relate. -
good
ohhhhh forgetting is such a beautiful thing isnt it
good girl everday is a little easier...
good poem..
-Allison -
Nice poem, this was very well written, and had a good message to whoever you're talking bout.
He left long ago in search of his fate
If he returns it shall be too late
For my heart is forgetting the love I once felt
I’m here cursing Fate for the hand I’ve been dealt.
I really liked those lines. Well written, and keep the pen in motion. -
Well, i'm not big on love writes, but this is good...the ryhme and rhythym is pretty good. Nice job.
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Such a smooth lovely, terrific poem! so well written and so touching as well. I don't know what you should do I am terrible at giving advice it generally backfires, but then again, you could mail him this poem for starters. Great write. /TP/
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I can totally relate to this, and it has pretty imagery, though slightly cliched-but love is hard to not cliche and still have meaning. Nice poem!
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Terrific write! Emotional, I love it! The flow is wonderful, and I really can relate to it.
"He left long ago in search of his fate
If he returns it shall be too late
For my heart is forgetting the love I once felt
I’m here cursing Fate for the hand I’ve been dealt"
The way you chose to use your words was wonderful and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Keep up the great work and take care.
Steph -
memories... they keep us sane... memories of the good and the bad... but a memory of love is a most herendous thing to forget... great poem. well written. well rymed. thank you for this poem.
....fallen.... -
Awwwh
call him call him! I dont know exactly how this is, but I know what it is like to have someone leave in hopes of finding their fate or accomplishing their dream or whatever. One of my friends moved to Cali, from NC, so thats like.. as far away as you can get and still be in this country.. and I definitely miss him. and i kinda forget about him.. but as soon as someone asks how he is, or as soon as i see my picture with him on my wall.. i just.. ahh. I miss him like crazy. We were no more than friends though. BUT ANYWAYYYY. This is a beautiful piece. definitely shows the emotion well. i love it. and btw thanks for commenting on my poem 
Bravo
<3 Fru
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