my sweat resides in the cracks of walls
hefted up onto plywood, creaking with caution
i pretend not to bleed into panels of thailand
making my fingers feel like collasping
but forgoing all tedious handiwork--
this structure is solid and breezy, forgets
who to let in and what to keep out
heavy dense and looming
it reminds me i'm still human
but my home will always be
yellow with a wraparound porch.
Author notes
i helped build my house.
it's made of teak from bali.
anddd i dunno if this is even what you want, it's just a memory. kinda short.
A contest entry
- Yourself (or the love of your life) as a facade of a building by chills.
450 points, ended March 18, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I really liked the part 'forgets who to let in and what to keep out'. That's a lesson that's worth learning.... very good
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this is neat.
did you seriously build some of it?
Like holllly cow!
"this structure is solid and breezy, forgets
who to let in and what to keep out"
I loved that. It just made your house into this giant like two sided mouth, or a stargate or something. Just things passing through with caution, afraid they will be swept to someplace new but relieved when they just breeze on by.
"heavy dense and looming
it reminds me i'm still human"
that was so neat. It made it was like safe, but futuristic in a way like you are in like space-sleep inside your house and you can travel to the stars and explore and it will protect you & you can live in it and love and flourish there. Cool.
"but my home will always be
yellow with a wraparound porch."
That was cute, its just like I dont know. So little and like come on yellow and wraparound porch what more is there to say its just cute!
I love your word style<33.
xox♥

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this is awesome.
i love:
i pretend not to bleed into panels of thailand
wow wow wo -
Like the imagery.
A very well done piece you have weaved.
Keep up the great works, thanks for sharing you~
Peace, Timothy aka poeticweaver~





