Lying naked in sweet repose,
A maiden of the sea.
'Twas from the sea that I arose,
Neptune gave life to me.
'Neath sunshine warm upon my skin,
I knew not why, how, what or when...
Neath sunshine warm
Neath sunshine warm
My earthly life would now begin.
Lying naked in sweet repose,
I asked of him this day.
Why is it I that you have chose,
His words he did convey.
Sea maiden fair I give to you,
Life from the ocean deep and blue...
Sea maiden fair
Sea maiden fair
It's peace on earth you must renew.
Lying naked in sweet repose;
Heart beating like a drum,
With ev'ry beat my strength it grows,
It's from Neptune I come.
To save the world; my task at hand,
The gods chose me, with scheme so grand...
To save the world
To save the world
Their ev'ry wish is my command.
Author notes
http://raipun.deviantart.com/art/The-birth-of-Venus-40717118
Trijan Refrain
The Trijan Refrain, created by Jan Turner, consists of three 9-line stanzas, for a total of 27 lines. Line 1 is the same in all three stanzas, although a variation of the form is not to repeat the same line at the beginning of each stanza. In other words, the beginning line of each stanza can be different. The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8. The Trijan Refrain is a rhyming poem with a set meter and rhyme scheme as follows:
Rhyme scheme: a/b/a/b/c/c/d,d (refrain of first 4 words of line five) /c
Meter: 8/6/8/6/8/8/4,4 refrain/8
A contest entry
- Pic Inspired-Beautiful by sweetgirlwa.
1500 points, ended March 20, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I enjoyed this very much, this was a difficult contest to judge. I was not familiar with the form that you used but I very much appretiate the explanation. Thank you so much for your entry it was much enjoyed.
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I'm glad you enjoyed this and hope you like the form. I just saw it not long ago and I enjoy them. The instructions are there and if you like writing form poetry you should give this one a try. Thank you for hosting and the honorable mention. Thank you also for your kind words. They are greatly appreciated.
seamaiden ♥
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An Excellent composition and very good take on the prompt--Excellent structure of verse and I enjoyed the 2nd stanza in particular--Well Done-- Best of luck in the contest!
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The picture was beautiful and the form seemed to fit it well. I'm glad that you found it to your liking as you did. Thank you for the good luck wishes, the applause and your words so kind. They are all greatly appreciated. seamaiden ♥
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I agree! It couldn't have been more perfect than this for a "seamaiden" I like that you used a Trijan Refrain too! It made the theme dance, like it was lilting across the waves. well done!
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The Trijan Refrain does have a way of bringing song to the words and I'm very happy you enjoyed the use of "seamaiden" in there. It just seemed like a good thought at the time.
Thank you for the applause and your words so kind. They are greatly appreciated. seamaiden ♥
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oh wow this is so beautifully written and inspired from the picture and your words just add beautiful imagery to it. well done
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That picture was perfect for a seamaiden. lol I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for the applause and your words so kind. They are greatly appreciated. seamaiden ♥
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