Is it death that I desire?
One last breath of living fire?
Then to sleep and, nevermore,
to rise reborn, spread wings and soar;
to search the endless, trackless skies;
to watch the world through ageless eyes.
Mis'ry waits for one who'd borrow
one more meaningless tomorrow.
Author notes
Maldronah
Thanks to:
Nutrition (Tweak.)
for "Death of a Deity"
A contest entry
- GIVE ME SOMETHING TO PONDER by Swan song.
1000 points, ended March 22, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Phoenixes by Akari.
400 points, ended December 24, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life/Death Revisited by ashjoe76.
1800 points, ended March 26, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just give me your best by The Phoenix Returns.
700 points, ended March 24, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Love Affair With Death! by DemonChild.
3000 points, ended November 17, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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An interesting "take" on the phoenix and his thought! Congrats on the trophy!
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Good flow, rhythm and rhyme. This fits together effortlessly and it is full of so much meaning.
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Very thoughtful and appealing.
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There's a nice flow in the lines that I appreciate. The rhyme doesn't look forced in either. But that said, I think this could have been a little more imaginative. The end seemed a little clumsy and incomplete to me. As if something was left to be said. Then again, may be that is for the reader to ponder over.
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well done
Is it death that I desire?
One last breath of living fire?
A quandary we all face
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"Is it death that I desire
One last breath of living fire?"
Wow. I love the rhyme in this, and the rhythm is amazing. Beautiful words and a strong message.
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Very Very Good
I Liked everything about it. You have wonderful talent. Good luck in the contest.
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A poet to the heart, eh? Well done. Not a form still a beaut. Love the flow. End line rhymes were flawless. Write on. One.
Dez
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The enigma of the phoenix is an amazing phenomenon...to die and rise out of its own ashes again and again. That desire to live and soar just refuses to stay buried.
The last two lines....like trying to catch sigh smiles and rainbows, when the mud puddles are right there to play in while clutching a perpetual fistful of dandelions. Whimsy, maybe, but another view of ageless eyes.
This tugs like the wind at a kite.
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Excellent poem and something to ponder that is for sure
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much enjoyed...feel as though Ive read this before but I know I hadnt... love the way your words flow. in this class i am in now they tell me that my writings would not fly..they dont have correct rhyme and meter , etc.. i tell them.. i know this, ive always known this. i know nothing of style or of being a proper writer. i rarely...rarely edit my work or move things around at all. im not a professional looking to impress..im a poet simply trying to confess-
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