Said the sun to the moon:
"To be you must be a boon.
Just to watch them sleep,
forget the harsh light,
it's subsequent fights.
To watch them fall deep
into dreams of love, of being free.
Not to slave away for naught,
to be allowed some thought.
Yes, it's tough being me."
A contest entry
- Semi Quickie And Possible publishing. by creationsfromheart.
650 points, ended March 12, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Very creative and strong with very vivid imagery. With a sufficient amount of rhymes, this poem is definitely a piece of art. Awesome it is.. Keep it up!
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Creative! I like it
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I liked this a lot. You did a wonderful job describing the sun and moon, and a very well thought out idea. I wonder, how long it took you to write this?
(I always think thats a fun question to ask, but I don't ask it much)
"To watch them fall deep
into dreams of love, of being free.
Not to slave away for naught,
to be allowed some thought."
Were very strong lines. Very well done
Brandon Spalletta
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It took me 5 minutes to write this - I was wondering if it showed? Thanks for your thoughtful comment and for liking my idea. I thought it was different. I am glad you liked my fave lines too. Thanks again for leaving your footprints on this page.
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lol - how very goosebumpy
this is wonderfully done B ... enjoyed every line of it - seems the moon definitely has the better end of the stick there doesn't it?
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