I'm the teenager.
The kid.
The dependant.
Aren't I supposed to be the one who screws up?
Who thinks she knows exactly what to do?
Then why you?
I was looking for something innocent,
imagine it,
but I look inside your pocket
and find a pack of cigarettes.
I open it with shaky hands,
but no accident.
It's half full,
but to my eyes half empty.
Pull,
pull at my heart,
tug,
tug at my soul
but only empty.
Empty in my eyes,
you are empty of
everything
I thought you were.
Respect?
Yeah right.
You used to kiss me on the forehead
in the middle of the night;
now I shudder.
Those lips have felt death,
they've welcomed the gutter,
the lowest of the emptiest.
They've taken breath after breath
of the lies,
the sickening lies
and then thought they could show tenderness.
Nonetheless, I have no respect left.
Going through a rough time. Just found out that Dad still smokes. Tell me what you think please.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I feel your Angst!
OK...I get it that you're mad. It's a great disappointment when someone we look up to for guidance screws up! Parents are only human & can be hypocritical. Dad needs to quit & perhaps you can be an example to him by telling him how you feel about what happened & then forgive him & ask him to quit cause you love him! I'm sure he asked you not to smoke 'cause he knows it's such a horrible habit! You expressed yourself well in print. I can understand that you've lost respect. The best way for you to keep yours is to be honest & then continue in life to do the best you can & to look for good role models if Dad isn't one! I'll be thinking of you. I know what a trial it can be to have parents who don't respect themselves or their children! Hang in there.
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Your emotions are expressed with such strength. I know that you feel betrayed, but there is another side to this. Your father probably wanted you to stay away from cigarettes because he is addicted and hates his addiction. He wants you to be healthy and happy, as well as hang around the right kids. After all, I started hanging around the smokers last year, when I was sixteen, and took a couple puffs. Then I found out that half of them, one being my exboyfriend, were potheads. My reputation went down, I was depressed but didn't realize it until it was almost too late, and I was hurting myself as well as my family/friends. You're quite lucky to have a father who cares about you so much. He doesn't want you to end up hanging out with the group I used to hang out with. Now, I am back to my old "goody-two-shoes" self, but nobody cares except my family. They said that I was a pothead even though I never smoked it, and they still make those claims. It doesn't matter though. I know the truth and am stronger from the experience. Smoking is disgusting, especially kissing a smoker, and your father is trying to protect you from the life he has experienced. Maybe he'll quit soon. I hear it takes a lot of strength--I never became addicted because I only had two. Peer pressure is horrible.
Anyway...good luck with that. Your poetry is very strong fromm many standpoints. Your metaphors and imagery/detail are amazing and at the level of writing you are at now, I can see you reaching fame if you really wanted to. Keep up the great luck and good luck. It will take a while to learn to trust and respect your father again, but I hope you can forgive him. The best thing is to confront your dad on the issue. Ask him why he never told you and why he lied to you. He loves you with all his heart, and I know you love him back. Otherwise, you wouldn't care if he smoked or not. Good luck and may tomorrow be brighter!
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Wow. This was really well written. I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way once. I got the whole lecture about not smoking from my parents, and both of them smoke. The ironic thing is, they gave me the lecture WHILE they were puffing on the cancer stick! Can't get much worse than that. But, on the other hand, now that I've gotten older and just a bit more wise, I now understand how hard it is for them to quit. It is indeed an addiction and those aren't easy to give up. I think you should just talk to you dad and let him know how you feel. Don't be too hard on him though. I can see it from both sides. It's not easy for either of you. Good luck! And good job on this poem. You really let your emotions shine through! Keep up the great writing!
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Well darling, this is the way I see it. You could talk to your father about this or you could blame him and become even more upset. Remember that smoking is his choice and that you cannot force anyone to live according to your standards. If your dad has told you that smoking is bad and that he does not do that, then I could see why it has upset you this much. However, if he is there loving you and protecting you, be grateful because other kids grow up without any loving parents. Remember that smoking is an addiction. It is difficult to give up and if you see it in this light, it would be easier to try and help him than judging him.
Your poem is well written and your emotion of anger and sadness is clear. I hope you resolve this with him for both your sakes. -
Great write
You're emotion really comes through in your words and how broken everything has become in your life. You really did a great job with this. Keep your chin up though, my grandma smokes and just keeps adding nails to her coffin. Your dad could be like mine and not give a crap about you, but I can understand how you feel.
Forgive me if I'm rambling. Anywho, you did a great job. Try not to think about it too much, it'll eat you from the inside out.
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