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Through Rose Tinted Glass


He spies her painting smiles
on smoky finger
nails

with a splaying brush

and spasmodic
tic-

morose
on their (non - coitus)
marital bed.

And recollects
the times when they looked ahead-

through rose tinted glasses

of turps.



Author notes

Turps is used for stripping paint, varnish etc. Some people drink it to get zapped.

In a list

A contest entry

I

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Emmyb gold member
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    Im being helped to judge this contest. you have impressed both of us. well done on getting to the finalists list.

  • Emmyb gold member
    April 17
    Edit | Reply
    oh look i have commented on this already!


  • perfectsunset gold member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very originally crafted
    and brilliant language used.
    Beautiful imagery & well-composed thoughts.

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • Emmyb gold member
    March 16
    Edit | Reply
    this is a quirky and fun write. what an inspiring form you have used. I find your work very adventurous.


  • Dead Hair
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    Very original and unique imagery! I've never seen anything like this piece before. It really is a treasure.


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    I love the words used. It is a very wonderful sounding poem when read aloud. Thanks for entering.
    Laura


  • The.poet.of.hearts
    January 21
    Edit | Reply
    For What Age you have written. Follow the Rules

  • Smeraldina
    December 11, 2008
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    that's real beauty

  • piccola silver member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can easily understand this. The non-coital bed and all that. Vivid imagery brought to mind. thank you for entering

  • Black Rayne
    November 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It took a while to pass comment on this remarkable piece, and i still do not have the right words


  • Mariana gold member
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant!

    I love this poem...I wouldn't change a thing!
    Retrospective wistful thoughts... of what used to be.
    It draws me closer.
    Mariana


  • Kal-El
    May 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well simply what I can say is this is really great


  • B Chandler
    April 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Commentary

    Ummm .....

    damn (compliment)

  • Virgoan
    March 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the soft spoken thoughts all through-out this piece. figuratively soft & lightly brittle.

    very well done

    Thanks for sharing and keep writing.

    HENSLEY

  • neel pakhi
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    really unique imagery here. your writing is so brash and raw its very hard to compare it to all of the finessed pieces that come through. i think im going go against the contest rule and leave 2 in for a while. i must commend you and a couple others for making 5 or 6 of the 20 or so submitted real contenders.


  • shuvi
    March 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Most non-cliche in here!! (among the ones i ve read, actually)

    Way to go!

    much luck, shuvi


  • Blooming Poet
    March 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    powerful emotion and a powerful story told in very well penned words. your muse was really in gear on this poem. love this part: I watch you painting smiles on smoky finger nails

  • phoenixonfire
    March 14, 2008
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    Abstract!!!

    lol!! The poem was so awesome and well worded..i was reading it in awe that such a small poem and so much intensity and then I tumbled upon your notes..and the zapped part made me laugh!! EXCELLENT WORK!!

    Thanks for entering and good luck!

    luv n peace
    pri


  • sheltered
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great opener. A lot of interesting words like twitchy and splaying, morose, non coitus. I find it hard to believe people would actually drink turpentine but then again I used to sniff Tana boot spray. lol


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    March 11, 2008
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    this is great, makes me want to get zapped (; lol


  • layla.
    March 11, 2008

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    this is brilliant brevity. with raw emotion and vivid imagery. i liked reading it loudly and in my head. thanks for entering


  • aboomer silver member
    March 10, 2008

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    drink it???? arrgghhh.
    But I like your wording and the depth to it. Great images, too.
    well done


  • RyanosaurusWrecks
    March 10, 2008

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    john leennon had rose tinted glasses, no?
    well, just a mention...i like this poem
    although short, it is filled with immense imagery, and a listful midset is captured nicely in this write, well done

  • Bad Bill
    March 10, 2008

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    I like the sense of life gone wrong here. The imagery really portrays the sourness and disillusionment of it all--realistic and hard-edged poetry.

    Bill

1 - 25 of 25