Hard To Remain In Control

I want to move on
Forget that time and place
But it’s hard to release

So many people walked out
Just left me stranded
With no one to count on

Promises were broken
Trust denied
And lies revealed

Poems were written
Thrown away
But then saved

Night was my time
When I’d write
And cry

Scars were made
Hidden wounds revealed
That I thought had healed

A mistake I made
An attempt to leave
Permanently

I fought for control
Over my very own life
A battle I wasn’t willing to lose

New trusts began
Lessons learned
Finally grasping a hand

Breaking through the darkness
The sadness
Gaining control of my life

It’s still hard sometimes
When things become difficult
And things go wrong

It’s still hard to not fall
And always remain in control

Author notes

This is just my thoughts I guess. I just...so much has happened in the last year. And yeah, I finally gained control...and i learned so much, but it's still hard to keep control...and I think it's gonna be a fight for the rest of my life...I'm scared of that, but I know I can do it. I just wish I could forget about things I did and the sadness and pain I went through last year, but that probably won't ever happen. I'll most likely always carry it because it changed me so much...