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finally.

the wine touches my lips
your eyes trace my eyelids
tensing, glaring, waiting
the room heavy with suppression

my mind on fire, heart on ice
the bottle breaks against the wall
screaming, tearing, shattering
you smooth my dress softly

blood on your face, is it mine?
hands trembling, i claw my way out of your arms
biting, gnawing, struggling
i brush a loose curl out of my eyes

i planned this for years
finally i am free of you forever
hating, loathing, binding
i never loved you

Author notes

6) write a poem about anger or something that fills you with rage (and make me FEEL IT!)

A contest entry

hn.

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Comments

  • Goldfist
    March 28, 2008
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    Congradulations.

    Your poem has been chosen as a preliminary finalist and will recieve applause from me before I decide on the winners. Each poem also gets an additional comment that illustrates why it was chosen as a preliminary finalist.

    With this piece I could easily visualze the two parties involved. While it uses so few words in describing the action, it implies many details of the situation that led to this moment. The tone and frankness paints a vivid picture of the moment while everything else is subtley implied in such a way that the reader can easily deduce more about the situation by reading in between the lines. While the poem itself is abrupt, it has many layers to it.


  • RunningFree
    March 11, 2008

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    Powerful

    I really like the three verb listing that you use in each stanza. This poem is really expressive of anger in a way that the energy from the anger is used to bring a person to action. You express that in your verb usage as well as this line:

    "i planned this for years
    finally i am free of you forever"

    I wonder what the back story around this poem is. It is beautiful and frightening all at once. Thank you for entering my contest.

  • Goldfist
    March 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    hmmm.....

    Spooky. I like it. It's like, suddenly you're in the scene and you've missed a whole bunch of backstory, like an Aeon Flux episode or something. Very interesting indeed. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.