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Sweet, Painful Memories

Ever with me
Yet never there...
Just the ghost
Of memories we shared

A gentle kiss
Wakes me from sleep...
I long for the lips
That were mine to keep

A whisper in the night
Calling my name
I wake to the sound...
And I'm alone again

A caress on my face
It must be real
Your hand in my hair...
That's what I feel

Liquid topaz eyes
Burn into my soul
The smile on a face...
That made me feel whole

Wrapped in your arms
The moment we meet
But when I awake...
It's only the sheets

Oh sweet, painful memories
Torture me more
Make me feel
What I once felt before...

Ever with me
Yet never there...
Just the ghost
Of memories we shared

Author notes

"Grammy Awards for Winners participent" ~ option~ * A love so real

Mom of Blondes

Ok, so here's the poem that completes the thoughts that were started in the haiku "Memories". You should really read that one too to get the full affect.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    May 2, 2008

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    such a lovely piece. I must say that the loneliness in this poem is standing out. very well done!!!!

    All the best


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can relate so much to these feelings, as sometimes I find myself missing the one I used to be with and remembering our tender moments, truly makes me FEEL.


  • TwilightBloodRuns
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Perfect!
    Love the imagery and the rhyming scheme, even though you changed the beat partway, it is still the best one I have seen so far. (Even though there are 3 poems at the moment, but i started the contest a few minutes ago, lol)


  • perfectsunset gold member
    April 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    All I can say is that this is BEAUTIFUL. I really like it a lot and these lines were my fave

    "Liquid topaz eyes
    Burn into my soul
    The smile on a face...
    That made me feel whole

    Wrapped in your arms
    The moment we meet
    But when I awake...
    It's only the sheets"

    Gorgeous imagery as well!
    Best of luck & thanks for entering my contest


  • Cat10
    April 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great write


  • Swan song gold member
    April 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful longing for love and well rhymed, even the off rhymes worked with this peice.


  • Shassidy
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem! Although the idea of feeling like someone is there when they are not is really clichéd, I think this piece is a really great piece. There's a lot of wonderful imagery and the feeling of being left alone comes through really well. The title reflects the poem and is not too over-used of a title as well, so good job with that. Great job and good luck in the contest!


  • Blooming Poet
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, beautiful poem. Very deserivng of the many awards it has recieved. Good luck in the other contests and wonderful poem.


  • jamiedoring
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful....

    The pain is conveyed beautifully thru your words.
    The ending is absolutly perfect! Great write!


  • Zenda-Lokki gold member
    April 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well I think you may be adding another trophy to the long list this poem has lol. Great write x


  • vibes of heart
    April 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very smooth flow and nice rhyme. very nicely brings out the longing within! a great poem..


  • FallenAngel09
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this poem, it has a liquid fluidity that is rarely accomplished when a poem has such short lines. You are a truly gifted poet. My favorite line was "Liquid topaz eyes." I just found that simply astounding that three words could hold such imagery. The only critique I have is that you had two stanza's that were really half-rhymes that might sound like they rhymed when they really don't. Other than that, it was a really good poem. Great job and good luck.

    Hugs and Kisses,
    Tiphanie


  • hey charlie
    March 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and sad and crazy good. Thanks for entering


  • DeadlyPoetic88
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this write was one of the best for the contest that I've read thus far. I thought that it was indeed worth my time to read. Keep up the great job. I'm sure you will go far in this contest. Good luck.


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sad Sad Great write though Love the background too VCongrats on the trophies good luck with it in this contest I hope it gets lots of votes >.<


  • LadyDementia gold member
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on the HM!

    A powerful piece, wonderfully penned. All the best in the contest with it


  • Beautyfull-x-Angel
    March 23, 2008

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    ilikedthis poem ... ... i to have had moments like his ... ... thanx for entering and best of luck ... ...

  • aaaaaaaa
    March 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow! I loved it.

    "Oh sweet, painful memories
    Torture me more
    Make me feel
    What I once felt before..."

    very beautiful, these are my favorite lines. and I think it would be better if this would be the ending to the poem. but either way it's great.


  • jbbrandi
    March 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so incredibly powerful...it brought a tear or two to my eye. I think I can relate with this...actually, I can TOTALLY relate with this...I'm speechless, but you did an awesome job.
    Good luck in the contest, and thanks for entering.


  • Bazza
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Exquisite

    I liked the exquisite painting of longing and memories intermingled throughout the poem and the final sadness of something missing.


  • Melissa Burns
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh sweet, painful memories
    Torture me more
    Make me feel
    What I once felt before...

    great lines


  • MzDimeDivia
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Loved it

    You have such a nice touch and i loved it and it was just amazing. I liked the part when it said A gentle kiss
    Wakes me from sleep...
    I long for the lips
    That were mine to keep
    Good Luck in my contest


  • Kassandra Nyktos
    March 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow....really good.....its....haunting

1 - 23 of 23