If I could open up my heart
My love would consume you
Smashing against you in passionate waves
A never ending sea of it I give you
If there was a word to describe it
I would say just that
But no words are adequate
I can't describe this fact
I give you my mind
You know every twist and turn
and my trust
That you so rightly earned
I give you my body
I saved myself for you
I am only yours and yours only
To that I stay true
I give you my soul
ALL of me, everything
What is mine is your
You ARE my everything
I *have* opened up my heart
And my love [is] consuming you
Smashing against you in passionate waves
A never ending sea of my love you sail
And I myself am being consumed
Soaking in the sea of your love
Taking in everything like a sponge,
its never enough
Its Infinite
Author notes
dedicated to Cody - My [1st] LOVE! 2-11-08 to 7-11-08
may my heart R.I.P.
A contest entry
- the emotional rounds - 1 by Ryno.
400 points, ended December 26, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
cool
very sensual and well written.
-
And I myself am being consumed
Soaking in the sea of your love
Taking in everything like a sponge,
its never enough
beautiful i love this -
I enjoyed this poem.
I agree, love is so magnificent that it seems the words
we have presently in our english language just do not
give it the power and essence that "it" so well deserves.
well done, and I'm sure we all understood this poem!
well done!
ears/Seattle.
-
this is very interesting.. I enjoyed reading this.. Thank you for entering.. And good luck!!
Peace to you, Jetleena
-
aww I love this poem Jennie! this is a great write!
-
This is a good write and flows well. I particularly like the strong metaphors to do with the ‘never ending sea’, it really emphasis the love you feel for Cody.
-
nice...i really connected with this poem it was very deep keep up the good work
-
I like this its really beautiful. and nothing is more wonderful than a poem straight from the heart telling how you feel. Sometimes your thoughts can rhyme and sometimes they don't and that is what i like about this poem. very nice job. and congrats on finding love.
-
I like the first stanza, about your heart opening up, it really paints an amazing picture, I can visualize this poem so well. The second stanza kinda has a mysterious presence, leaving somethings unsaid I like that, it kept my intrest. The third line is so beauiful, I never described love like that before. The only thing is that for 3 stanzas ina row you use the same line "I give you___" I think you should either use each first line of each stanza like that, or make each first line of each stanza a little different. I like it. I also wonder why in the last two stanzas you kinda start adding dirty pretty concepts, that confused me, just a little. A poem should have one form. Like a poem can't be rhyming and haiku, right?
Overall
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
