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Haiku/maybe Senryu? Red Balloon

It slipped away
red  balloon, with blue ribbons
a tear left behind

Over clouds it flew
dancing with the wind until
exhaled its last breath

It slipped away
red balloon with blue ribbon
down to outstretched hand

Over fields and woods
dancing with the wind until
exhaled a tiny breath

It slipped away
red balloon with blue ribbons
with tear left behind

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Pollycheck
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my contest. This is a very nice haiku chain, that follows pretty close to the traditional 5-7-5.