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Dry as a ...

wasted
skeletal
desiccated
fossilized remains
of intent left unaccomplished
lie there beneath the
lashing rays of
burning sun
undone

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Cynewulf
    July 3, 2008
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    I quite like this poem, it's not bad. I take it you have spent a lot of time in the sun.


    • dericlee
      July 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It's not one of my own favorites...my contest poems seldom are, and I prefer to take a more fulsome approach to the language. (Backtrail is much better, IMHO)

      but yeah...I grew up in west Texas, somewhere past the cotton fields and well into the mesquite and sand.


  • sullivanthepoet
    April 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Stunning... A masterpiece of brevity! LOVED it!


  • Kelli Marie
    March 22, 2008

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    WOw. This is powerful. Very much a thought provoking piece of poetry. You did a wonderful job with this write.
    Kelli


  • The Black Iris
    March 15, 2008

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    Vivid. I especially liked the lack of punctuation and also the form you used. I thought it worked very effectively. Flowed well.


  • AAA Taurus The Bull gold member
    March 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is very insightful. It is would seem also almost universally accurate.

  • Suzanne Dia
    March 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    Fun format, and you entered my contest again!!

    I like this...I'm reminded of scattered bones. Creative take on the prompt

    Thanks again for entering, Eric.

    • dericlee
      March 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I always think your challenges bring me some of my most creative moments, Suz. There was someone else who used to fill that need for me...maybe you know her? L'il cutie named mystysaint?


















  • Kari gold member
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love the way your poem is formated...and the amazing images that you get with this piece...you did awesome


  • Touchof1der silver member
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like a temple of brittle humor and a barren heart... one that has been purged of vim, vigor and vitality. Much like the way I have felt a time or two! Thank goodness those moments are few and far between. I think you have epitomized the "Bone Dry" feeling to an art form. Your words paint a most vivid image. Good luck in the contest. As always, your words are always a pleasure to read, One line blending perfectly with the next.
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • Kyoko-Benjiro
    March 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Great poem

    I liked it a lot. Perfect words to describe someone worn out.


    • dericlee
      March 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      How did you do that? I wasn't even done posting it yet!

1 - 13 of 13