Early,
and the sun slides through
the sleeping fog,
slick as a tongue
and slow as furry bodies,
striping the world
in gold and shadow.
The heady dampness
begins to sway,
to hum and buzz
with the delicious opening
of a morning so like
a waiting flower,
heavy with dew
and nectar.
The collective
breath is held,
listening to
the sugary summons
of things the comatose chill
still holds out of reach.
Author notes
You know the best thing about my research for graduate school? It involves watching bees, which are only out when it's sunny and warm - no early mornings and no rainy days! *laughs*
I love hive dynamics, and really find I can't get away from them lately. Hope you enjoy this!
In a list
A contest entry
- Distant Summons by Randomly Beautiful.
300 points, ended March 10, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Speak your mind.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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A Uniquely Beautiful Comparison
I love this poem! It appears that it's been overlooked by readers, yet resides quietly in your poetry portfolio waiting to be discovered, and I'm glad I did!
The imagery is very striking and I like your use of "s" sound alliteration, which appears most strongly in the first stanza to very good effect. Likening the birth of a new day to aspects of a hive is very creative and quite different from other approaches often seen in poetry. Well done
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"Early,
and the sun slides through
the sleeping fog,
slick as a tongue"
this is great. very visual that stays in the mind -
Your observations of nautre are true.
The beauty of the sunrise is one no one can really forget.
To see such beauty is easy but to reflect it into ones being and a poem is lovable.
Congrats you have great observation skill.
To be a good poet observation is a very critical aspect one cannot forget as one writes.
. Rewarded 6
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Your observation is powerful. One feels like watching the bees, one of the most beautiful aspects of Nature. The alliteration has added to the beauty of the poem. It is a fantastic poem based on real observation. Go on researching in order to
add to the human information treasure and beauty of the world.
Rahi
. Rewarded 6
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Beautiful Bee Season
I like the one-word title of this poem; it's not really necessary to elaborate: "Hive" says it all. I enjoyed reading your author's notes. :-) You use alliteration very creatively. I like the lines,
"The collective
breath is held,
listening to the sugary summons. . . "
You did an excellent job with bee imagery and I enjoyed reading this poem.
. Rewarded 6
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Love the theme, and bees!
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Thanks!
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This is great, the awakening, and the suspenseful waiting for the summons to grow louder, until it must be answered. The life of bees conatins many messages for us, not the least being that of productive co-operation! Great imagery, well written, your enchantment with the subject shines through.
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Ohhh wow. Usually I despise bees. It did bring me a different sense of thought.... they aren't as bad as I thought they were. Very nice write.
. Rewarded 4
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A delightful change of perspective in a finely wrought poem. We might think we are important and highly developed but the bees might have more sense than us. lol
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Nice Write.
This paints an interesting morning scene and the hive being called by a higher power alomst. Unique.
And the last six lines really sum it up.
. Rewarded 4
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I enjoy all your work. It's nice to see an entry from you. Thanks.
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