Weeding out the gene pool
As you say
You didn't mourn the death of the kid
In the slightest way
My friend, my hero, even my brother
Lie dead today
Your my creator, my life, my FATHER
Yet you still speak with such hate
I'll weed myself out of the gene pool
Then what will you say?
A contest entry
- March New Members contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended April 8, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you interperate, what do you get out of this poem?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Welcome to allpoetry and thanks for entering!
This is a powerful write because the words that you express show clearly that you are not happy with the way your father has acted and how he influences you.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
I hope you enjoy allpoetry
Faerie
Site Greeter -
Welcome to AllPoetry!
This peice speaks to those of us that feel the same. Wanting to be seperate, needing to forget or forgive. Although this poem sounds bitter and cold, I read a sadness in it also. Nicely done!
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter
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Welcome to AllPoetry
To me this sounds a bit like you're talking about aborting a fetus that would have grown into a deformed child, or something like that. I may well be wrong. Anyway, this is really sad... it's too bad some people who love us just won't understand how some things that they don't get mean so much to us. Good luck in the contest
~Diana -
influenced me in an undesired way. Makes me dark and sad without my intent. Influence is not always good. Sorry you didn't think it fit. I really did.
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Welcome to AllPoetry
Strongly penned; I am unsure how this fits exactly within the contest but I guess it does in a dark way.
The end is a bit adrupt but it is still a great write
♥
Thank you for your entry
Best of luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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This is quite a dark write and in a dark way someone who has been quite influential in your life. It's very sad to me.
Thanks so much for your entry
Gaylene
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The last line is perfect.
The ending line can make or break a piece,and it made this piece.
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Thank you, thats probably one of the best comments I've ever got on my work. This poem is all truth and is how I truly feel.
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Wow. This is awesome. I think it takes a lot of talent to say so much in so little words.
"I'll weed myself out of the gene pool
Then what will you say?"
That line really stuck out to me. I liked it a lot. Great job. [and thanks for the comments on my pieces.]
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eh
now that I read it I think it ends a bit abruptly, but i still like it.
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