It's hard to breath
these words of love
to search for nothing
a violent shove
i know what this means
to me and to you
to all who believe
and to all who will do
so only i ask
that you mean it too
make these words easy
and make them come true
A contest entry
- for Romantic Dreamers ~~ OPEN TO ALL! by PassionsPromise.
1800 points, ended April 19, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think in general? Improvements?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
final request for name and option number in author notes. Thank you
-
wonderfully done. Thanks for your entry. Please put name in author notes.
Very warm and heartfelt, so much truth lays in these lines.
Passions
Good luck to you
-
I really agree with what the person is asking for in the poem. You shouldn't say things like "I love you" without meaning them. It really bothers me a lot when I hear people say this to each other. To me, these are not the type of words that can, or should, be thrown around as easily as they are. Great poem.
-
I think this piece is very touching. It has a strong conviction in it and i really appriciate that. I understand whats being said here and i know exactly how it feels to love and to ask that person to love you back. I really like the title of your poem..i think it adds a little secret to the write...anyways just my opinion. If you wanted to make any improvements i would just use different word usage..thats just me. But i think your poem is perfect the way it is..so really..dont change anything.
-
This needs a lot of work the stanza is not correct for the book nor is lower case I publishable in these books you are more then welcome to work on this write and make it more suitable or enter another poem.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
