Your silence is deafening,
Your eyes bleed with pain
Your sighs are distressing
As I sense our love wane.
Author notes
19 words
I wrote this thinking of my first marriage and how things ended with my wife telling me that she no longer loved me.
A contest entry
- Word Prompt 3 by Aussie Gypsy.
550 points, ended March 9, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
A compact piece of poetry with impact. The imagery has clarity and the emotion of the female cuts like a knife, how she must have ached with her eyes bleeding pain, being lost for any words beyond the heaviness of sighs, the last line rhymes with the scheme and the piece leaves the reader feeling the depth of her sorrow. Congratulations on the Bronze trophy.
-
I agree, congratulation on evaluating the prompt
this is immediate in resorted move for feelings
the first line to the end seems to make it imperative as unable to work on emotions rather than must. but dissolving question has recently been interesting to me, more than just one or other coming back from temptations of others but even self sometimes, "So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart." that latter verse of Mathew 19:4 bears enough reliance isn't in our opinions either but the kinder one encouraging love with a way. but I get an emphasis of sadness not to huff the heart.
there's sympathy honestly for couples,
babies are my subject
-
This is so sad, I think we have all had a love gone bad scenario like this
well done
Thanks for taking the time to enter my contest, wishing you the best of luck
Karen -
oh daddy the pain and the echoe of sadness in your words is deep and painfelt.its strong well done daddy
-
Good write...better to part than stay with the wrong person...
-
A very traumatic time I am sure.It is sometimes very hard to hear the truth but better that than living a lie.I hope you have moved on to find true happiness, Ros
-
Aww sad! Had to check the prompt... very creative take on the prompt hun!
Love waning is always a distressing thing indeed!
-
Sad, so very sad but in the past. You're loved now and that is a precious gift.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
