The Great Debate – in Venus’ mind,
Emerging from her shelly birth –
Goddess-like dryness. How to find,
Ere she set foot on Mother Earth,
A way to pat each flowing tress
And dab each inch of sacred skin
Free of all moisture, then to dress,
And then, divine, her work begin!
How modestly she covered up
Whilst undecided, by the tide,
Still standing in her scallop-cup…
“Which one to choose? What to decide?”
The problem makes us still perspire –
The paper towel, or hot air dryer?
Author notes
This is a sort of English sonnet, but in iambic tetrameter (well, iambic-ish) - which lends itself to humour.
In a list
- Laugh, willya! • next in list
- Sonnets, sonnets, and more bloody sonnets • next in list
- Wee yellow vases • next in list
A contest entry
- A Renaissance Story by LovelyLuminousLilly.
850 points, ended March 22, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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This is a really nice poem. I like what you did, your wrote a renaisance story with that little twist was really cool. It didn't have the normal flow, yet how its written makes sense and makes it what it is.
Nice job! -
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Glad you liked it, Nicolette.
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love it! especially the last two lines. great job!
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This is a wonderful poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. It was interesting and I love the last bit. good job and keep writing!
~Erin~ -
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Thank you, Erin.
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well done. I loved this form and may have to try when my mind is right. Best wishes in the contest hon.
Love
Passions
. Rewarded 4
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It got a gold, Tory
M
xx
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The ending suprised me in a good and funny way.
The rhyme and meter are good.
Well done!
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I just wanted to congratulate you once more! You did a great job with the picture, rhyming, humor and how you made it appealing to women
haha. Congratulations!
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Thank you, O Luminous One - I am now doubly honoured.
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hahahahaha
hehehehehe
Much better to have someone help you
Wouldnt you like to wrap her in that big blanket and rub her all over. I will laugh every time I see the picture now. Jeff has done the same picture your's is better.
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Hmmm... no I much prefer Titian to Boticelli when it comes to Venus.
http://www.eng.fju.edu.tw/Literary_Criticism/postcolonism/example/titian_venus_of_urbino.jpg
http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/gallery/2004/08/04/Titian_venusAnadyomene.jpg
Now HER I would rub all over
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You are full of fun poetry lately and I absolutly love it. The poem has wonderful rhyme and meter but the image is a pure delight. Go for the hot air, it saves trees and has to be cleaner.
Love,
Amera♥
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And how do they generate the electricity?
It would be nicer to get dry by having someone blow on me. If you'll pardon the expression. -
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Oh...
It needs electricity? -
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To run a hot-air dryer, yes.
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You have to forgive Amera, she is used to standing in front of me whilst I speak to dry her hair. No electricity needed.
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{biting my tongue}
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made me laugh... the venus rising from the sea is one of the more memorable pieces of European art and this is quite the twist... wonderful...PK
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Well, I saw the wind blowing from stage right, and the nymph rushing with a large bath-sheet stage left...
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The decisions us girls have to make, been around for many a year. Love the humourous take on such a classical picture... Sue
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It seems to be what LLL wanted, so I was happy to oblige!
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you are a total nut!
Wonderful idea perfectly penned in beautiful form. Now I have to find something more!!!
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All husk and no kernel, that's me!
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haha, lively and cute. I love this spunky humor mingling with classical references.
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Lively and cute - talking about yourself again!
Thanks for the visit here, glad you liked it.
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Thank you for your entry and good luck!
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My pleasure, LLL
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