I cannot sleep,
I have not slept for days,
Only the company of dark memories
That cast shadows on my heart,
I could close the blinds
To the rain always falling outside,
But the sounds of sorrow
Are endless haunting echoes in my head,
Now I cannot sleep
Again ;
So I will just lay here for awhile,
Broken and defeated,
Trying to trace my path
On the cracks in the ceiling,
How did I get from there to here,
Just a passenger in a caravan of tears,
I have rode beneath this lonely sky,
The memories passing by like the road signs,
Just waiting for the end of the line,
I have been so sick for a thousand miles ;
The lessons have been bought with pain,
Like the secrets that I have learned,
Love is just an empty word,
Life is just an ache that hurts,
There is no pot of gold at the end of every rainbow,
No promise that you would make it through this quest alive,
Not everyone can be a winner,
Without losers they would never know
They had won the race,
It is a flawed design in the curse of mankind,
A bitter fate to realize and a hard truth to embrace ;
Now is it my turn to sleep?
Tell me am I dreaming yet?
Will the silence cover me at last
In a protective shroud
From visions of the past,
Can I step down from this train,
I have been going nowhere too long
And running from nothing too fast ;
Is it my turn to dream,
Tell me am I sleeping yet,
Rock me in the arms of no more hurt,
Lay me in the cradle of a peace deserved,
On this train full of passengers
That is a world full of prisoners,
Home is but an empty station,
A final destination for those who have learned
That life hurts and love burns,
That dreams can lie
And time can fly by like the road signs,
Leaving you tired and deserted
But wide awake and left behind,
And I cannot sleep
Again :
Author notes
Option 8
A contest entry
- Muses for the masses (options galore) by Goldfist.
500 points, ended March 28, 2008, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Soulful Writes by CanadianGirl1.
500 points, ended March 30, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Thank you very much for your entry...it just seems to me..very honest and indeed from your heart. It flowed so well together, and just... touched me.
Thank You!
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Thanks so much for your time and feedback, always means a great deal to me.
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Congradulations.
You have won the gold. This piece is something to be proud of. Hoestly, it was the last three stanzas that did it for this piece. It brought it to such a beautiful and profound close. -
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I'm trully humbled. Thank you so much for the insight and encoragement. I am always "Kept alive" a little by the thrill when someone finds some worth in a piece. It makes it all worthwhile.
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congradulations.
Your poem has been chosen as a preliminary finalist and will recieve applause from me before I decide on the winners. Each poem also gets an additional comment that illustrates why it was chosen as a preliminary finalist.
this piece is very good. So many people write free-verse because they think that it's easier than using rhyme and meter or they believe that rhyme and meter limit the writer. This isn't true. I've found that free-verse is actually very hard when you do freeverse right and can be harder than meter. There are certain tones that are portrayed better in freeverse and certain tones that are better using various structured styles. It takes experience to know what form would best lend to the idea. This poem portrayed the understanding of how to use freeverse and showed that you know when freeverse can be uilized to it's full potential.
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Thanks so much for the detailed response. What a joy to see an expert dissection regardless of final judgement. Thanks again.
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nice.
I think the last two stanzas are, by far, the best out of the whole piece. Thankyou for entering and good luck in the contest. -
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Thanks much for taking the time to read and comment, much appreciated.
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