On paths of fallen water dust
Walk ones that do not understand
They pass with fear, angst and mistrust
On paths of fallen waterdust
Amidst the granite, moss and rust
Our bodies lost beneath the land
On paths of fallen water dust
Walk ones that do not understand
The twilight makes them more aware
So, from our silent tombs we reach
With wish to let them know we care
The twilight makes them more aware
We'll float upon the frosty air
An urgent message we can teach
The twilight makes them more aware
So, from our silent tombs we reach
This pressing message all must heed
Each deed and thought are meaningful
No time for jealousy and greed
This pressing message all must heed
It's love that satisfies all need
To make afterlife wonderful
This pressing message all must heed
Each deed and thought are meaningful
With prayer we all await the day
That loved ones will be joining us
Do any know the part we play?
With prayer we all await the day
They'll understand the things we say
And leave their world much better, thus:
With prayer we all await the day
That loved ones will be joining us
Author notes
Hi grandma.
In a list
A contest entry
- BLOW OUR MIND! by Tam.
875 points, ended March 10, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Update~ Give me whatever you got! by lizwicker.
950 points, ended April 8, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be Original, more points to come by katie-jo.
700 points, ended March 15, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Mmm, now this poem is practically epic, I loved it! What a story to tell... it's like a haunting melody. I love the detail and the emotion in this piece and the rhyming wasn't forced (which is somewhat rare). Yes I must incline my head to agree with the others, this is most certainly a masterpiece. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work! ^_^
~Elizabeth~
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Simply a masterpiece. Excellent!
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Thank you for sharing your time and talent with us!
I’m delighted Tim’s artwork inspired your Muse to pen this wonderful entry into our contest...
Blessings! Tammy
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Had a soft sadness to it... but lovely all the same. Love the repetition of certain parts... deepend the meaning...
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This is beautiful with a bitter sweet tone, the rhyme and meter in this is fantastic. You are becoming the King of the Triolet too!
Love,
Amera♥
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Well done here. Actually kind of sad yet well penned. Expected nothing less. Great job and best wishes Allan in this contest.
Passions
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