I want to sit and sip a drink
And talk of poetry.
To lie back with a friend and think
Beneath a garden tree.
I want to walk beside the sea
And gaze out at the sky.
While holding hands, just you and me,
We'd dream that we could fly.
I want to sit beside a fire
And talk all night of rhyme.
To feel slow building of desire
In some eternal time.
I want to learn to love again,
With one who wants to share.
To sing a tender love refrain
While we have time to spare.
I have not had enough of life.
I want to try once more
With a new lover friend or wife
To make me as before.
I want to drink some heady wine
And toast a poets health
With one who values words so fine
Preferring them to wealth.
All these things I want to do,
Are written in my dreams,
And hidden there as well, is you,
The object of my schemes.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 44 of 44
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This is true romance written in words. Your heart is one with love.
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awesome, maybe every poet's dream :]
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So well said dear poet,
exellent write, wish you fulfill most of your dreams.
Regards.
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As usual, this is fantastic work and professional quality, I don't remember if you've published but you should, the world would thank you and that's not an exaggeration.
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Thank you, Jeff, for this fine expression of thoughts that are doubtless shard by many of a literary or simply contemplative bent. I am new here, but I look forward to finding more poetry that's written without fear of rhyme and rhythm schemes.
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Refreshing
This poem is written with a romantic flair - I'm intoxicated by the very first stanza. Bravo!
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love and longing ,life and dreams flow with your words so smoothly....
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wow..jeff this write is brill..wow..xxx
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good job
well, lots of meaning
i find honesty thru trust is best
but
some have their own agenda
may things go well for you
And hidden there as well, is you,
The object of my schemes.
. Rewarded 4
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I want to sit and sip a drink
And talk of poetry.
what is stopping you
ha, drink, think of father jack from father ted series.
all seriousness though, i thought you a man of beat and rhyme? here i see... simple poetry. and i am not being rude, i am being honest. i have read a few of your poems of late and some i like, others i do not, this is middle of the road fro me
. Rewarded 8
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What higher compliment is there than "simple poetry?"? What stops me? You have to read the whole poem for the reasons, one day maybe.
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and you insult me of course i read the whole poem
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Pleased to hear it
One day I shall have a night of rhyme with a perfect poetess. -
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well you just confirm to me what i thought, i tried being honest and smiling and you say i did not read you properly. i will never visit your work again and leave a comment, intelligence is relative in this world i do like your waistcoat though. and feel free to send the winds to visit me again
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The "one day maybe" referred to me and my night of rhyme, not to you reading the poem, I always assumed you had done so.
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I said no such thing!
You asked what was stopping me so I said the answer was in the poem!
You then said you had read it properly and I said I was glad.
I am also glad you like my waistcoat, I have rather a large selection, though maybe not as many as I have poems.
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oh look - this poem has a 1000 comments, does that make it a good poem? i sigh jeff, ok i will back down, i am just a man who likes to dance i will stop bothering you, i had an itch and i wanted it scratched be well and happy, i will vanish
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A good poem?
No idea, it was written for a friend, she liked it, so it fulfilled its function.
I like it, so that's another win. I offer it to anyone else to like or not, but good?
How does one measure such things? -
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don't assume i have no idea be well now and stop speaking to me, i have finished with you
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It's my poem
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do not assume - you are a poet, you should be careful what you say digging i see now
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it is the fifth stanza that brought me my "aha moment". Even though the entire piece is written flawlessly and speaks of all those things that must be nonexistant now. But to know that one wants them, takes away from the sadness of NOT having them and within that fifth stanza is where the hope and determination keep this from becoming one of thise mournful dark writes that moan and groan about the "nots". Urghhhhh...I know what I want to say , but doubt that I can explain so you will as well. So let's just leave it at "great job" and keep dreaming away,
respectfully,
reenie
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Hi, well this poem will certainly win the hearts of rhyming poets, including myself, loved it, all the best. Di
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Romantic!
Hey Mr., for one so heady & all [all the science & adm.] you have a heart of gold. This is the first piece of
yours I've read & like it muchly! I'll have to come back for some more but now I'm finishing up some pubing & then it's prayer time & bed. Nice work.
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you are not alone...every time i stand on the beach and look out or up...i wish so hard for the wind to pick me up and allow me to fly...when you dream there is no "intellectualizing". All that is needed is heart...I love this. Lane
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Even when you dream when you are awake
On the beach you have reached the edge, the only place to go is onwards and upwards...
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Jeff, are you planning on having one of those marathon rhyming contests soon? That was so much fun.
I suppose I could always have one myself!
jjj
Good times
More rhymes -
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Yes, Sue and I are looking to run the next series starting in April, so get your rhyming tuned up! We will be looking for a few changes including guest judges for a couple of rounds so we can enter!
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That's beautiful. It made me think of a friend I once had who was interested in such things. They are hard to find.
There are lots of them on AP though.
Thank you, Jeff.
jjj
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Hmmmmmm
This is one of the toughest rhyme schemes to pull off, so the question is, do you pull it off?
And I would have to say "no" to that question, because, even though the rhymes are good, the ideas or thoughts you conjure up here don't seem coherent enough for me to buy into it.
The second stanza is a point in case:
I want to walk beside the sea
And gaze out at the sky.
While holding hands, just you and me,
We'd dream that we could fly.
The problem I have with this, as I stated above, is the question of coherency . . . the thought of walking beside the sea and then dreaming that 'we could fly' don't fit well together . . . so the poem, at this point breaks down and doesn't get up again.
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"We'd dream that we could fly." I see what you mean, sort of. But maybe it's on a surrealistic level? I rather like it.
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I could go into it further . . . but the point is most of it sounds forced.
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Odd...
The first thing I think of when gazing out to sea is just taking to the air and flying out further. We are all different I guess but to soar like an albatross across an ocean...
Just seems to me the most natural thing in the world. -
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Yes, and very individualistic as in most dreams. But this poem is not about individualism. Now I suppose one could make a case for the thought (the original Superman movie, where Louis and Superman fly over the city, had it), but still . . . hard to buy into.
. . . and now I'm over-intellectualizing . . . a fault of mine.
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This has a lovely feel to it and flows as gently as a river flows to the sea.Gently weaving in and out, carrying the reader with it .Once there finding the object of both their desires.Love it, Ros
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I want to give your dream to you
and watch you bathe in love
another moment just for two
yes love sent from above.
Your words appeal to heart and soul
you make the rhymes seem less meek
I know that somewhere there's a hole
in the poet's heart you seek.
So drink to this, yes toast this piece
and give these words their due
and know that some day inner peace
will take a hold of you.
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I love a comment cast in rhyme
It sets my soul on fire
I am so please you spent the time
To dream my heart's desire
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wow. what a nice rhyme! i really like it.
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This poem is really quite sublime as you have penned it all in rhyme. The images here that you do pen gives vibrant pictures to all men. I think your rhyming skills are fine I’m glad you do it all the time.
Love,
Amera♥
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The only rhymer who can match my pace
And you also have a pretty face
I'm glad you like the way my rhyme was writ
I like to play with words a little bit
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No doubt the object of your dreams appreciates this ode-as, of course do we all.
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It's good - it's a cj poem, what else could it be? In the fourth stanza, I am worried by the repetition of "love"... it seems clumsy, BUT if you substituted "time" with "love" in the last line of the quatrain, it would add balance and internal structure. But what the heck - I love it.
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Well depending on whom your talking about. I say lets do it. This was a good night time rhyme...well written and well said. What a dream.
Love
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